The Music Man Page #3

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Gregory!

Marcellus!

Why, you old son of a gun!

Shh!

But, Greg...

Hill's the name.

Professor Harold Hill.

But Greg, what are you doing here?

Why didn't you let me know you was coming?

I didn't know I was myself.

Besides, how could I know you'd end up in a little tank town like this?

Well.

You were a pretty big slicker

when you were in business with me.

Too many close shaves hawking for you.

Besides, I got me a nice comfortable girl.

Ethel Toffelmier, my boss's niece.

Gone legitimate, huh?

I always knew you'd come to no good.

So, what's the new pitch?

Oh, you're not back in the band business!

I heard you was in steam automobiles.

I was.

What happened?

Somebody actually invented one.

No!

So, uh, give me the lowdown around here, Marce.

Oh, you'll never get anywhere in the band business with these stubborn Iowans, Greg.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Besides we got this stuck-up music teacher who'll expose you

before you get your grip unpacked.

Male or female?

The music teacher?

She's a librarian. Female.

Perfect!

That's what I wanted to hear.

If she passes by, point her out to me.

I will.

This your best room?

(CHUCKLES) Afraid so.

How you gonna start the pitch?

Same old way. Keep that music teacher off balance,

and my next step will be to get your town out of the serious trouble it's in.

River City isn't in any trouble.

Then I'll have to create some.

I've got to create a desperate need for a boys' band.

You remember. Now what's new around here, Marce?

What can I use?

MARCE:
Hmm, let's see.

Nothin'.

Except the billiard parlor's just put in a new pool table.

They never had a pool table here before?

No, only billiards.

That'll do.

I'll see you downstairs in a little while, Marce,

and you can show me around.

And don't forget, music teacher.

Music teacher.

(BELL DINGING)

(BILLIARD BALLS CRASHING)

Ha! There it is.

Remember.

Excuse me, sir. Is this your store?

Yep.

Well, either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge

or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster

indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community.

Well, you got trouble my friend

Right here, I say trouble right here in River City

Why sure, I'm a billiard player certainly mighty proud to say

I'm always mighty proud to say it

I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden

Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye

'J'ever take and try to give an iron-clad leave to yourself

From a three-rail billiard shot?

But just as I say it takes judgment, brains, and maturity

To score in a balkline game

I say that any boob can take 'n' shove a ball in a pocket

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