The Mountain Men

Synopsis: A pair of grizzled frontiersmen fight Indians, guzzle liquor, and steal squaws in their search for a legendary valley 'so full of beaver that they jump right into your traps' in this fanciful adventure.
Director(s): Richard Lang
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
102 min

Hold on, hold on!

It's Frapp, for Christ's sake!

You damn fool!

You could have killed my horse!

What's wrong with you, huh?

Don't you wanna have fun no more?

Too old for this, I reckon.

- Damn you, Henry Frapp!

- Oh, shit. Damn.

I thought you lost your hair

down in the Bayou Sallot.

Hell, no! I aim to keep my scalp a while.

Looks like you been trapping.

Where you been?

Absaroka, Yellowstone. Where you up from?

Been back in the settlements.

I just come from St Louis.

- See any sign?

- Heap.

Whole war party, Blackfoot,

working right hereabouts.

No, they're Crow.

I seen the moccasin tracks.

They've been trying to steal my horses

for a week.

Them are Blackfoot.

Crow, I reckon.

Blackfoot! I can read sign, God damn it!

- What's beaver in St Louis?

- $5.


Be a cold day in hell

before I sell my plews for $5.

- How about in Taos?

- Same thing.

Where the hell you been?

Don't you go to rendezvous no more?

Not for a couple of winters now.

- You heading there?

- You damn right!

I got to get some whisky.

If I don't get some whisky soon,

I'm gonna die!


I've a mind to rendezvous myself,

if you don't mind the company.

Glad to have you.

I need somebody who can shoot centre... case we got to fight them Blackfoot.

- Crow!

- Blackfoot, God damn it!

- Got any baccy?

- I guess so.

- Give us a chaw.

- Yeah.

No hard feelings, old coon? Oh, shit!

Nary a one.

Son of a bitch!

Buffalo on the Platte?

Mighty thin.

Goddamn Pawnees been

shooting them again for the hides...

...leaving the meat out

there to rot in the sun.

What's old Bridger doing?

I heard he was in Santa Fe,

bushwaying for a bunch of greasers.

Mr Frapp! Whoa!

- My God, Mr Frapp!

- Where you been, asshole?

I made the assumption

you had gone downstream.

You assumpted? Well, don't do

no more goddamn assumpting.

- I thought you got lost again.

- Haven't you ever been lost?

Fearsome confused for a month or two,

but I ain't never been lost.

This here's Bill Tyler.

You gonna shoot me with your ramrod?

Now, that's Nat Wyeth from Massachusetts.

Says he's a ice merchant.


Got to take him to the rendezvous.

I'm travelling to Oregon, Mr Tyler.

I have a plan to send

salmon east in barrels.


Well, let's get to the rendezvous.

I got a powerful dry on.

How you gonna get them barrels

over the Rockies?

- Wagons, Mr Tyler.

- Wagons? You can't get wagons over...

I'm joining a train of immigrants

at the rendezvous.

Immigrants, huh?

Lmmigrants! Lmmigrants!

It's the promised land, Mr Tyler.

What in the hell would

anyone want to go to Oregon for?

To trade, to build... till the soil, to farm the land.

You can't farm nothing in Oregon.

Won't nothing grow there.

I could've told you that.

But he won't listen to me.

Mark my word, Mr Tyler,

one day there'll be a wagon road...

- ... all the way from St Louis to Oregon.

- Oh, bullshit!

It's a new empire, virgin and untrammelled.

- Hey, Henry, give us another chaw, will you?

- It's a land of...

- Jesus.

... limitless opportunity.

- Shit!

- What's wrong?

What's wrong?

You can see what's wrong, can't you?

Well, I don't see anything.

- Well, you don't see it 'cause it ain't there.

- What ain't there?

The goddamn rendezvous ain't there,

God damn it!

- What's it say?

- How do I know what it says? You read this.

"Come on to Popo Agie.

Plenty whisky and white women."

Popo Agie? That can't be.

The hell you say.

They got white women, ain't they?

Hell and gone the other side of the Divide!

Well, you don't expect them... go dragging them white women

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    "The Mountain Men" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 Jan. 2021. <>.

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