The Miracle Woman Page #3

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I'll open it for you.

It's the songs.

They've come back again.

There's a letter too.

It's from the Ziegler Music

Corporation, Songs that Sell.

"Dear Mr. Carson..."

I know, I know.

"We regret that they're

unsuitable for our present needs

and are returning them herewith.

Thanking you," and so forth, and so forth.

That's right.

They're always

nice about it, anyway.

That's from Ziegler, you said?

Yes.

Well, we've sent them out

from A to Z.

After Z, what?

X, Y, Z... Nothing.

Well, here goes nothing.

Now, you mustn't get

too discouraged.

Oh, what makes you

think I'm discouraged?

I know what would

cheer you up:

A good cup of coffee.

Now, you sit right there

while I go and make it for you.

You've been pretty

nice to me, Mrs. Higgins.

Ill remember you in my will.

[CHUCKLES]

Ill be dead and gone long

before you make your will.

FLORENCE [OVER RADIO]: The trouble with most

people is, they're quitters. They're yellow.

The moment they're put to

any sort of test, they cave in.

The difference between

a man and a jellyfish

is the fact that a man

has backbone.

What did God give him

a backbone for?

To stand up on his feet.

That's what real men do.

Beethoven wrote his greatest

symphony when he was deaf.

Oscar Wilde wrote

his greatest poem in jail.

And Milton, a blind man,

gave us Paradise Lost.

It's easy to forgive sinners,

but it's hard to forgive quitters.

[LAUGHS]

God has a plan...

What are you laughing at?

I'm laughing at you, for telling

me that nothing comes after Z.

Well, what does

come after Z?

A.

A? A what?

A good punch in the nose

for being such a wet blanket.

HIGGINS:

Me?

I've been thinking.

It came over me

like a flash.

Ill tell you,

"A what."

A wife.

[LAUGHING]

[HUMMING MENDELSSOHN'S

"WEDDING MARCH"]

HIGGINS:

Now, you leave me alone.

I've been meaning to speak

to you about it before.

[CHOIR SINGING HYMN

OVER RADIO]

I only wish meself,

I was about 30 years younger.

Who's that coon shouter that

broadcasts over the radio every day?

Coon shouter?

Oh, do you mean

Sister Fallon?

Yeah. Have you

ever seen her?

Oh, who hasn't seen her?

Well...

what's she like?

Oh, she's that marvellous

and wonderful...

You can't hardly

describe her.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]

Good evening.

Good evening.

I'm glad we came early. It's the

early bird that catches the worm,

I always say.

I always say.

USHER:

Good evening. Two?

Right this way.

Thank you.

[CHOIR SINGING

"OVER THERE"]

When do they bring on

the elephants?

[WHISPERING]

Don't be sacrimonious.

[APPLAUSE]

That's great, everybody,

that's the spirit.

Now, we just have time for one

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