The Midnight Man

1

- Hello, my baby.

Hello, my honey

Hello, my Ragtime girl

Send me a kiss by wire

Baby, my heart's on fire

If you refuse me, honey,

you'll lose me

Then you'll be left alone

Baby, telephone, tell my I'm

your own.

La-la, la-la la la-lah,

la-la, la-la la la-lah

This is usually where the

frog goes back in the box.

La-la, la-la la la-lah,

la-la, la-la la la-lah

- Uh, use your words.

(smack and groan of pain)

Let me guess, public school?

- You're a funny guy.

- Really? I haven't heard you

laugh yet,

but hey, I get, I mean, if

Pearl doesn't get his case,

Pearl doesn't make his deal,

and, well,

Pearl cuts off your thumbs.

(smacking and groan of pain)

- I keep telling you, bring your

boss

down here and I'll talk.

- For the last time,

Pearl's not talking to you.

You're dealing with me.

Where's the case?

- Rrrribit.

- Pauly, let's try the JC.

- What's the JC?

Ah, I get it, an attempt at

humor.

Get you.

- I'm going to count to three.

- Don't strain yourself.

- One.

- Is that Indian food?

Two.

Three.

(cellphone buzzing)

- I'd just let that go to

voicemail.

(pounding and clattering)

Dude! Brand new phone, two-year

contract!

(screaming)

Nailed it.

- We've got all night, Grady.

- No, you've had all night, big

guy.

Your boss is probably outside

that door

right now listening to you guys

fail

all over the upholstery.

Now I hear that he doesn't deal

with disappointment very well.

Makes him a little knife happy.

- Last chance, Grady!

Where's the money?!

- La-la, la-la la, I'll only

tell Pearl.

I'll only tell Pearl.

So do what you've got to do.

Come on, your thumbs.

(scream of anger)

La-la, la-la la, la-la, la-la

la, la-la

(smacking)

- Yeah, it's me.

We need Pearl down here.

Yeah, I know.

Just do it.

(door opens)

This is Grady.

- Losing our touch?

- Shut up!

- So you're the joker who thinks

he can take all my stuff

and just make it disappear.

- Ta-da!

- Let me tell you something

about me

a lot of people down know.

I can be quite a nice man.

I do have a few layers.

Like, I'm a very keen cobbler.

You know what that is?

- A baked, fruity thing.

- It's a shoemaker.

I like making shoes.

I'm also a keen scrapbooker.

- Be sure to add that to

your online dating profile.

- But I am anal about one

thing and that is balance.

- You must make a good cobber.

- The way I see it, me and you

have

got a balance problem, Mr.

Grady.

You took my stuff, which

gives you two options,

number one, you give it

back with a bit extra,

a finger, an ear, or you don't,

and I'll extract the rest of

your digits.

Now, you've been through a

lot today, a lot of pain.

Why don't you do yourself

a favor, give it back.

What you smiling at?

- Two things.

First it's just Grady.

- The second?

- You'd be amazed at how

much pain a man can take

when he can't feel it.

(screaming)

(gunshots)

- What are you?

- Don't be a drama queen.

- We tortured you.

- And I'm sure that you and

Paulie are

usually very, very good

at your jobs but listen,

trust me, it's not you, it's me.

- You?

- Yeah, you with bow

tie, I'm talking to you.

I mean, really mad skills.

- Hey! Who the hell are you?

What the hell was that?

Stop! Talking!

- You're him.

You're the Midnight-

- Shh, don't say it.

Trust me, it's better this way.

What else do you know about me?

(screaming)

- You work for Ezekiel!

- What?

Do you know , Ezekiel

always says that there's bad

and then there's me.

You see, your boss over, there

Pearl, he was very, very bad.

I'm worse.

- You gonna kill us?

- Not this time.

You and the rest of your people

have one week to close up shop

and

go far, far away.

If you don't...

I'm sorry, I'm not very good at

mime.

- You've made your point.

- Wait! How were you able to do

that?

- Good genes.

(door slamming)

- Too long.

It's taking too long.

It didn't work.

Pearl knows you wouldn't move on

him

unless you had all of us behind

you.

If he figured your boy out,

we're talking war on the

streets.

- Well, I say bring it.

The man's out of control.

He's gotta go.

- He's crazy, frigging nuts.

Heard he whacked his own wife.

- I heard he fed her to dogs.

- It was wolves.

- I heard he ate her himself.

Did no one else hear that?

(phone ringing)

- Let's not start battening

down the hatches just yet.

- Grady?

- It's over.

Pearl's dead.

- You sure it's Pearl?

We can't afford any mistakes.

- He fit our description to the

T.

- It was him.

- How did he die?

- Badly.

- Gentlemen, there will be no

war tonight.

Good work, Grady.

Now go have some fun.

(water running)

(water running)

(knocking)

- Addie.

- I guess you know already.

Hot water heater's busted.

We're all taking cold

showers this morning.

- Right, yes, freezing.

- Don't worry, I'll have

it fixed by this afternoon.

- You know it's rude to stare.

- Sorry, I never see you with no

shirt on.

- Car accident when I was a kid.

They had to use the Jaws

of Life to get me out.

It's a bit difficult to

talk about, actually, Eddie.

My mother, she was an artist.

We had just bought her an easel

when we were hit by a car.

Both legs when straight through

her chest, punctured her heart.

She bled out in front of me.

The last thing she ever said to

me was,

"Son, tell them I died for my

art."

Seriously?

(laughter)

- You had me going there.

- Oh, please, I never even knew

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