The Master of Disguise

Synopsis: A sweet-natured Italian waiter named Pistachio Disguisey at his father Fabbrizio's restaurant, who happens to be a member of a family with supernatural skills of disguise. But moments later the patriarch of the Disguisey family is kidnapped Fabbrizio's former arch-enemy, Devlin Bowman, a criminal mastermind in an attempt to steal the world's most precious treasures from around the world. And it's up to Pistachio to track down Bowman and save his family before Bowman kills them!
Director(s): Perry Andelin Blake
Production: Columbia Pictures
  1 win & 6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
3.3
Metacritic:
12
Rotten Tomatoes:
1%
PG
Year:
2002
80 min
$40,400,000
Website
28 Views

Many centuries ago...

...a remarkable family

began to practice...

...the magical art of disguise.

Down through the ages

they worked in secret...

...protecting the world from evil.

This is their story.

WeII, stop her!

This is my son.

Most people thought he sold

vacuum cleaners door to door.

But as you can see,

there was more to the story.

Where do you think you're going?

Idiot.

This is a mistake.

That woman is not Bo Derek!

That was cIose.

Too cIose.

I demand to speak

to the American Embassy!

Frabbrizio, it's time your son

is toId of his destiny.

This is no Iife for my son.

I wiII never teII him

of his true destiny.

Frabbrizio decided to keep the family

legacy a secret from his son.

The boy never knew the truth

about his urge to disguise himself...

...with anything he could find.

Pistachio, I hope

you're not making faces...

...in the mirror with the underwear

on the head.

That wouId be crazy, Papa.

UnIess I had the shaving-cream beard

to go aIong with it.

This is my grandson Pistachio.

He has always been a little different.

From the beginning,

he had impulses he couldn't control.

You sIap me, I sIap you.

As Pistachio grew up, he couldn't help

mimicking people around him.

Add the copper suIfate.

Add the copper suIfate.

Add just a IittIe bit of IuminoI.

Add just a IittIe bit of IuminoI.

But he always had

a hard time fitting in.

You think you got muscIes now?

Try this.

Okay.

Why does he have underwear

on his head?

What he didn't know was that

his true adventure was about to begin.

There's a young Iady out here

to see you.

For me? Fantastico!

Yes! Yes!

A young Iady.

Hey, amico!

There's a girI waiting for me!

Mama!

Ask your nice Iady friend to come in,

and I'II make you corned beef ravioIi.

What a grand idea, Mama!

Oh, my sonny-son, handsome son.

Go, go, go.

Naturally, Pistachio wanted

to find a girljust like Mama.

Sophia. What an unexpected

surprise, Iove-cake.

-''Love-cake''?

-I so enjoyed meeting you Iast evening.

I know we had some Iaughs at the bar

Iast night, but you're not my type.

Besides, I have a boyfriend.

So don't caII me, okay? I gotta go.

Yes.

Something about her

reminds me of my mama.

Oh, yes. She wiII be a great cook.

Papa.

I straighten the menu.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

Excuse, young man.

I notice that you became acquainted

with the sidewaIk a moment ago.

I'm not a sports kid.

Pistachio, do one of your funny voices

and cheer the kid up.

What an exceIIent idea, Bernardo.

Yes, yes.

I do for you now a scene

from the hit motion picture Shrek.

You ready? Okay.

Why don't you get away

from me, Donkey?

What you taIking about, ''Get away

from you''? I'm making waffIes.

Oh, what a cute IittIe puppy.

I see you Iike my dog.

His name is The Cuteness.

I never had a dog.

WeII, perhaps your papa

wiII buy you a dog.

I never had a dad.

Papa deficient, yes.

You can pIay with The Cuteness

any time you want.

Let me introduce myseIf.

My name's Pistachio Disguisey.

-My name's Barney Baker.

-A pIeasure, Barney Baker.

And now, hungry patrons.

Arrivederci!

Moron, use a tray next time.

Those are too many pIates.

Ah, the new waiter, Rex.

So cute in your inexperience.

Watch and Iearn, my friend.

Yes, I cIean. I cIean.

Goodbye, gooey sauce.

Cheese? Yes, I give you cheese.

Yes, nice cheese. Yes, cheese.

You Iike, huh? Oh, yes.

Papa.

And finaIIy, we have fresh,

bouncing baby shrimp.

I'II just take the spaghetti.

And do me a favor, buddy.

Get me some man-sized meatbaIIs.

Am I going too fast for you?

Am I going too fast for you?

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Dana Carvey

Dana Thomas Carvey (born June 2, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian and actor, who is most widely known for his work as a cast member on Saturday Night Live (1986–1993) and for starring as Garth Algar in the Wayne's World films. He is well known for his impersonations of George H. W. Bush and Ross Perot on Saturday Night Live as well as portraying original SNL characters The Church Lady and Hans of Hans and Franz. more…

All Dana Carvey scripts | Dana Carvey Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this The Master of Disguise script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"The Master of Disguise" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_master_of_disguise_13468>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

The Master of Disguise

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.