The Man Page #4

What the hell is

the matter with you?

I ask you to do one thing,

and you screw it up.

- Hello.

- What the hell's the matter with you?

I ask you to do one thing,

and you screw it up.

Yes, well, this was

not planned well.

No no, listen, Turk.

You know what?

You just bring the package

to First and Bagley

and wait there.

So what did he say now?

Hey, get back here!

Excuse me.

Now you pay.

Get off my car!

Get down! Oh man,

he's got a gun! Ah!

Ouch!

Ouch! Ouch!

Ow! Oh! Ow!

Oh, boy! Oh!

Ah! Ah!

Ow ow ow ow!

9-1-1.

What's your emergency?

- Yes, hello, I've been shot.

- Can you give me a location?

- I don't know. Downtown.

- Where downtown, sir?

A man in a black car

kidnapped me.

Do you have

a license plate number?

Yes, just give me

a second.

"347DNB." Hurry.

I just called 9-1-1,

- and you are in serious trouble.

- Get up.

- You shot me.

- I grazed you.

Well, that's still

shooting me!

- Watch your ass.

- Ow ow ow ow!

You could have

killed me back there.

If I wanted to kill you,

you'd be dead.

I wanted to graze you, you're grazed.

It was a training bullet.

Well, I'm bleeding, although you might

call it "training blood."

Here, use this.

Taco sauce?

Yes, it's a natural

antiseptic.

Sprinkle some of that on your ass

so you don't get an infection.

Yeah, well, I don't even

wanna know how you discovered that.

So what, you keep

this in your glove compartment and just

splash it on a salami sandwich

and then splash some on your behind?

Use it or don't use it.

It's your ass.

You got any guacamole in there?

I hear it makes a great cold compress.

- Just put it back!

- All right, I'll use it. I'll use it.

Don't you have

traffic to look at?

Oh, sh*t.

You gotta be kidding me.

Get out of the vehicle

with your hands in the air!

Get out of the car

and show me your hands!

Turn around!

Hands on your head!

- No no no no no, I'm not with him.

- Your hands!

I don't know him!

He just...

he... he...

he kidnapped me.

He took me

against my will.

He... look. You see?

He wanted to put

taco sauce on my butt.

The guy is nuts.

Nuts.

- Hands!

- Run my plates!

You! Back in the car.

- Your hands!

- You wanna see my hands?

Here.

Federal agent.

Run my plates!

- The car is federal, sir. A.T.F.

- That's right.

Federal agent.

Federal prisoner.

Back in the car!

You are interfering

with a federal investigation.

Move your asses!

That was fun.

Give this to him

and walk away.

Hey. If you try

to run this time,

I'm gonna put a bullet

in part of the ass you really need.

Ooh-ooh! Oh!

So you like the merch?

- The merch?

- The merch.

Well, you know,

there are days

that I like it

and days that I don't.

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