The Maiden Heist

Synopsis: Three middle-age guards learn that their museum has sold a wing of art to a Danish museum. Each has a favorite in that collection, and none can imagine life without the peace and completion it brings. Though mere acquaintances, they plot a theft of the three pieces between the time they are packed and the time they're loaded onto a plane. First each must obtain a forgery; then, they have to smuggle the forgeries into the museum and find a way to make the switches. The heist is complicated by Roger's intrusive wife - he's promised her a trip to Florida for their anniversary - and George's proclivity for taking his clothes off when standing in front of the warrior statue he loves.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Peter Hewitt
Production: Yari Film Group
90 min

I sincerely apologize

for disturbing your afternoon.

If you relax and stay calm,

you will all leave here alive.

We have come only for the girl.

Drop your weapons, Roger Barlow.


she will be mine.

I`m talking to a dead man.

You know that, don`t you?

If I cannot have her...


Okay, we`re gonna see

some old paintings now

that I think you all will really like.

The Lonely Maiden.

The Lonely Maiden was painted

by Marcel de Robert in 1873.

The girl in the painting is

the artist`s own daughter.

Now, marked by assured brush strokes

and the use of fractured light

makes this painting a wonderful example

of a very brief

but influential time period known as

the Northern French naturalist movement.

-Northern French naturalist movement.

-Northern French...


I don`t mean to interrupt,

but there are some things

I could clear up for the group.

-May l?

-Oh, no, I think...

Well, first, The Lonely Maiden

was painted in 1875, not 1873.

And the girl in the painting

is not the artist`s daughter,

but in fact a niece from his wife`s side.

Also, the painting technically belongs

to an offshoot

of the Northern French naturalist movement.

The post-naturalist movement.

-One of only three works completed.

-Yeah. I knew that.

The Lonely Maiden is marked

by the subtle use of tone and mood

to create a striking image

of desperate longing

and overwhelming passion.

Sometimes, when you look at her,

the way the light glows on her face,

the eyes so full of sorrow,

you cannot help but ask,

``What is she searching for?

"ls there anything I can do for her?"

"ls there anything I can do for her?"

-Okay. Thank you, sir.

-Thank you.

That was a nice treat, wasn`t it?

That was neat.

Good to see you.

She looks kind of fat.

-So, Roger, how was your day?

-lt was good. How was yours?

Mine? Mine was better than good.

You know how l`ve been doing Mondays

and Wednesdays down in Margie`s shop?

Well, Margie decided they needed

another person on Thursdays.

-And who do you think she called?

-ls this the same soup we usually have?

-Chicken noodle.

-Same brand?

No, they didn`t have your brand.

Why? Is it bad?

No, it`s just different.

Anyway, today alone

I did seven colorings and six perms.

-lt`s by far the most I have ever done.

-The noodles stick together in this kind.

I don`t know what it is about Thursdays,

but I made more money in tips today

than I ever have on any Wednesday.

-I was so nervous walking home.

-You know, criminals can sense fear.

Well, I hope no one sensed me today.

I was nervous.

Every little bit gets us closer to Florida.

Our vacation, Roger. Our vacation.


-I know you take your job seriously,

and that`s great,

but I really think you need a break.

Someplace warm where you could relax,

take your mind off the museum.

You know what happens

when a security guard relaxes?

I think I have some idea.


Monsieur Barlow,

you`re supposed to be on break.

Yo, Mr. Barlow,

you`re supposed to be on break, man.

Go, get out of here!

Go grab a soda or something, huh?

Okay, but watch out for children.

They like to touch things.

-They get too close, you have to be...

-Yeah, yeah, trust me.

It`s under control.

Look sharp, now.

Looks like ``The Man`` just walked in.

-I wonder what they`re doing.

-You didn`t hear?

Man, don`t you ever read the bulletin board?

The display should be bold, in your face,

grab people by their throats and say,

``l don`t care what you think, I am beautiful.

``Do not turn away.`` This middle area,

wonderful for the dung sculptures.

The upstairs,

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"The Maiden Heist" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 16 Jul 2020. <>.

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