The Lonely Guy Page #5

Great, isn't she?

Hey, Warren, do you ever feel like

getting out and meeting real women?

Sure. I'm meeting a terrific

girl at a bar tomorrow night.

Do you wanna come? Maybe you'll

meet somebody. Well, yeah, thanks.

Who's that? Oh,

just a friend of mine I don't see anymore.

Oh. Well, here's to...

Ahh.

Oh, God, that's funny!

You tell a story so well.

Oh, thanks.

Here's another one.

I'm walking down Madison Avenue. It's

about 12:
00, 12:30. This really happened!

This guy comes up to me... Hi, honey.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, hi. Hey, Warren.

Thanks for sitting in.

I was just telling Louise this great story...

How'd your meeting go?

Terrific. Looks like we got the deal.

That's wonderful!

Great. Listen, Warren,

thanks for sitting in.

I hate to have Louise sit and wait alone.

I was glad to do it.

Can you do it next week, same time?

I'll be about 45 minutes.

Oh, sure, sure.

Enjoy your dinner.

See anybody?

I'm trying to get my courage up

to talk to that girl over there.

Oooh, she's pretty.

Gee, I don't think so.

Why not?

I mean, she's

really attractive.

Well, hey!

Well, try.

Well, I will.

Hi. I'm Larry.

Hi. Brenda.

This okay?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I hate these places.

Don't you?

It's like, most of these guys

are just here for one thing.

I guess I want to meet someone I can talk to,

just get to know.

And go to dinners with,

and museums, art galleries.

I think what I'm looking for is

more of a real relationship.

That's great, Larry. But I

just came here to get laid.

Ever think

of getting a dog?

A dog!

Dogs are great. They leap all

over you. They lick your face.

They don't even have to

like you. It's their instinct.

Hitler had a dog.

That dog went crazy over him.

- Adolph Hitler?

- Yeah.

There's this pet shop,

has this policy.

Take a dog home,

you don't like it...

you bring it back,

you get another dog.

- That sounds like a good deal.

- It is a good deal.

I learned a lot

about dogs that week.

For instance, don't get a dog

that's bigger than you,

unless you're trying

to save money on bus fare.

Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go, boy. Come on!

And if you like to play fetch,

don't get a fast dog.

Fast dogs like to show off,

and they don't care about your stick.

If they don't come back

by nightfall, you're out $300.

Bassets are really

cuddly dogs.

They love to get in bed

and nuzzle right up to you.

The problem is, they miss their

mother and they howl all night,

and you have to pretend

that you're a Basset too...

and howl with him

'til he goes back to sleep.

A cute dog attracts women.

But not to you,

to himself.

I come by here every day

about this time.

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