The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

Goddard's just arrived, Spud.

What's the ruddy idea?

It's total war, isn't it? What do you want?

- Message from HQ. Where's the CO?

- In the barn. Follow me.

Message from headquarters, sir.

- Sergeant Hawkins?

- Sir.

- Read it.

- Sir.

It's in code, sir. Message begins:

"Exercise invasion of the London area

by Regular Army.

Home Guard defending.

War starts at midnight."

Message ends.

The CO's put in pencil here, sir,

"Make it like the real thing."

Oh, he has, has he?

Section commanders.

(Whistles)

Message from HQ. War starts at midnight.

You have your orders. Tell the men.

- Tell them to make it like the real thing.

- What do you mean by the real thing?

Divide our losses by 1 0

and multiply the enemy's by 20.

- Yes, sir.

- That's all for now.

- Anything for me, sir?

- No, no, nothing else.

War starts at midnight. We know...

- They know...

- We attack...

They counterattack.

Like the real thing, my Aunt Fanny!

Like the real thing...

Like the real thing!

Sergeant Hawkins, section commanders!

So, war starts at midnight, does it?

- Sir.

- We attack at six.

Take the Tommy guns and three trucks.

Section leaders with Tommy guns.

Arm the men with bombs, rifles, bayonets.

- Tommy.

- Sir.

From your section - Rice, Unsworth,

the two Owens,

- Nobby, Toots and Cochran.

- Not Cochran.

Stuffy, who are the biggest toughs in your lot?

- Bill Wall, Wimpey, Popeye.

- Right. Yours, Robin?

- Frank, Skeets, Duggie Stuart, sir.

- Taffy, Geordie, sir.

Busty, Simms and Pat Sullivan, sir.

Dai Evans - we must have him, look you.

All right, get going.

Excuse me, sir?

Did you say that we attack

before war is declared?

Yes, like Pearl Harbor. Now, get going.

By the way, there's just one stop - at The Bull.

I've got a date there with Mata Hari.

- Careless talk?

- Yeah. Now, scram.

Five minutes easy, Sergeant.

Five minutes easy, Stuffy.

I wonder what's keeping Spud.

Come on.

- Afternoon, Sergeant Hawkins.

- Afternoon, miss.

- Hey!

- Back on the trucks.

Spud?

There's Spud.

Spud?

- What's the matter? What's the matter?

- Sir, what happened?

- Spud!

- She got me.

- Who?

- Mata Hari! Come on, quick...

- Any luck?

- Not a hope. She's halfway to London by now.

She's gone to warn the wizard.

Come on, get my tin hat. Come on!

The barricade's open, sir.

God damn it!

You know, you ought to have

one of these field dressings on that.

Save it for her. She'll need it somewhere else

when I catch up with her.

See that barricade, my boys?

At midnight on the dot, it's got to be closed,

and, of course,

the enemy can't get through before,

because why?

- Because...

ALL:
War starts at midnight!

- What's the objective, sir?

- Royal Bathers' Club.

What about Mata Hari?

We'll beat her to it. I know a couple of short cuts

after Marble Arch.

There she is!

Get the other trucks to close up.

See if you can pass her.

Blast that taxi!

Steady.

Keep right on his tail.

Keep straight on.

Second left. We've got her!

Come on, Section. Number two? Number three?

- You have your orders. Sergeant Hawkins.

- Sir.

Yes, l...

- Is General Wynne-Candy here?

- He left an hour ago

with Brigadier General Caldicott

and Air Vice Marshal Lloyd-Hughes.

- Did he say where he was going?

- What is your business with him?

I have an urgent message.

If you give me the message, I'll see he gets it.

Damn it all, man! Are you in the Home Guard?

Why, sir?

The password is Veuve Clicquot 1 91 1.

The General and his staff

are in the Turkish baths, sir.

Sergeant Hawkins?

You're in charge. Stay with him.

And you're a prisoner of war.

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