The Last Time

Synopsis: Ted Ryker is the top salesman in the New York office of a business machine company; the corporate stock lives by quarterly sales numbers, the competition is keen, and the economy may be in a downturn. Ted's company is marking time until a new product is ready - probably in a few months. Into the mix comes a new hire, a callow Midwesterner named Jamie, who's come East with his fiancée Belisa. Ted's a cynic - with a failed love in his past; he's profane, he's a lousy team player. He watches Jamie flounder, failing with presentation after presentation. Then, Ted finds a mutual attraction to Belisa. Where can this end?
Director(s): Michael Caleo
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
96 min

Look, I'll be in and out of there | before you know it.

In fact, I'll bring you some lunch.

- We can talk over a sandwich if you like. | - Of course, I can send you a brochure.

Why don't our aides | follow-up again in about

10 business days.

Allow me to send you a CD-ROM | outlining our entire production plan.

One thing I can promise you | is that at our first meeting

I will not be trying to sell you | a single solitary thing.

I just want to get to know you | and your company.

We did this last year, but the upgrades on | all the parts is the only way to guarantee...

If I knew where Westchester, New York was,

I'd be in the city in 20 minutes | to show you our new product.

I know it's a big investment.

That's why I spent a great deal of time | customizing this plan for you.

Don't make me come show you | how to do your f***ing job.

The Saint Paul office is really struggling.

Same with Phoenix and Tulsa.

John is really starting to worry.

Hi, Jaime.

...process analysis, sample filtration... | Yeah, the vacuum inlet-outlet.

I'll get back to you on that, sir.

I think it's 22 BLI, but... Hello? Hello?

Yes, I will take care of everything | from implementation to training.

It's my pleasure, please.

Look, I've talked to my manager. | That's my best offer.

No, wait, wait, wait. I can do better.

Larry, wife three on line two.


Guardia can't touch that price.

How? Because it is my job | to have that information. Oh, really?

You know what? F*** you. | I don't need your f***ing business.

F*** you, you f***ing f***!

- Morning, Ted. | - Hey.

He'll be with you in a moment.

Oh, hey. Ted.

Thanks for coming in.

- How's it going with Jaime? | - He's an idiot.

I wanted you to be the first one | to see the DLX 179.

Six years in the pipeline. | The R&D guys finally did it.

It's like I always say.

Success is the sum of small efforts | repeated day in and day out.

Do you realize how much money | we're gonna make selling this thing?

In the first six months, | I bet we make like...

Hey, hold on. Hold on! Hold on! | Hold, hold, hold, hold.

All right! All right! The truth is | I want to talk about the upcoming quarter.

I know. I know. I'm a big pain in the ass,

but the fact is as your sales go, | so goes the whole team's.

- Do you remember Fisher? From Cincinnati? | - Yeah, he's a prick.

Yeah, well, he was also | a topnotch salesman,

and then he starts hitting the bottle,

and before you know it, the whole | Midwest division sales go down with him.

I'm telling you, if we don't | meet this quarter's projections,

it's going to be sayonara | for old John boy here.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

Well, you better learn to sell shoes | or suck cock real f***ing fast.

I'm really excited to be in New York.

It's always been a dream of mine.

New York, New York. It's a heck of a town.

My mom loved that song.

So John tells me that you are | the number one salesman in the division,

maybe the whole company.

You know, I was the number one salesman | in my old job. Yep.


So, what do you say, | since we're both reigning champs,

that we have a little friendly | sales competition this quarter

for say dinner at Le Bernardin's?

I'll take that as a yes.

How about if I sweeten the pot a little bit?

Put this baby in, huh?

I sold more than my entire division | put together to earn this baby.

This trophy makes me so happy.

- Nobody's happy. | - I'm happy.

No, you're not. You're miserable.

- You don't even know me. | - Trust me. Your life sucks.

No, no, my life is actually pretty good.

What's so great about your f***ing life?

I've got a new job. I've got a new house. | I'm getting married soon.

I've finally started taking art classes.

- Yeah, listen, Jimmy. | - Jaime.

Yeah, like it f***ing matters.

Everything you see, | everything you feel, is nothing.

This job, this car, that polyester | bargain-basement suit you're wearing

is totally meaningless.

As far as beating me is concerned,

what you should worry about is getting | one sale, 'cause if you don't,

'cause if you f***ing don't, they're | gonna ship your sorry ass back to...

Where the f*** are you from again?

- I'm from Solon, Ohio. | - Really?

- Yeah. It's a pretty cool place. | - Yeah.

Pretty cool place? Really? | Then why the f*** did you leave,

you sorry son of a b*tch?

It was working great this morning.

I even laid in all the schematics | digitally for simplicity, right, Ted?

Right. Well.

What you would be seeing | if this thing was, you know, working...

Wait. There it is. That's | good. Okay. Good. All right...

All right. Just forget it. Look, we'll...

I'm sure it's a great product and everything,

but to be perfectly honest, | Guardia is gonna be in here later on today

and their CEO, Ronnie Leguzza,

he and I are old poker buddies, | so we're probably gonna go with them.

I see. Well, this was my first sales call | so maybe next time I could probably...

Try again when that new DLX technology | I've been hearing about is available.

DLX? Yeah, sure.

Hey, Barney! Give me a second, okay?

- Yeah. | - Okay. Okay. Thanks.

- Hey, who's Leguzza? | - Shut the f*** up.

Who the f*** is...

You know, when we first got into this, | it was just us and the Japanese.

- Is that right? | - Yeah.

Then the Swiss got in, then the Germans, | then the goddamn French.

- I hate those goddamn French. | - Yeah.

But we still manage to move 40,000 units | out of this factory alone, every month.

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Michael Caleo

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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