The Ladykillers Page #3
There is the distant moan of a riverboat horn.
MRS. MUNSON
...Passed on before you got piles.
Mmmmhmm. Thank the Lord you wasn't
sick. You don't wanna sicken 'n die.
No, you wanna pass nice 'n peaceful...
go to sleep one night, wake up in
the glory land... woof...
A gust of wind hums under the eaves; the candles below the
portrait flicker. As Mrs. Munson looks around the room,
vaguely towards the ceiling, sensing a negative aura, the
cat arches its back and hisses.
At this moment the doorbell rings.
MRS. MUNSON
...Well who's that now, Pickles?
She grunts as she hoists herself out of the chair.
I/E. MUNSON HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT
She opens the door--
A draft--
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The candles below the portrait of Othar go out, sending up
thin wisps of smoke.
I/E. MUNSON HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT
The cat shrieks and bolts out the door, past the man on the
stoop:
GOLDTHWAIT HIGGINSON DORR, III.He is a middle-aged Southern gentleman wearing a panama hat
and a cape over a cream-colored suit. He has dark circles
under his eyes. The smile he attempts, mournful yet courtly,
is wiped away by:
MRS. MUNSON
PICKLES!
DORR:
Ma'am?
MRS. MUNSON
Go get 'im!
DORR:
I do beg your pardon?
MRS. MUNSON
Go get Pickles, I didn't let 'im
out!
DORR:
(tasting the name)
Pickles...
Dorr walks down the stoop followed by the old lady.
MRS. MUNSON
Oh, he's up the tree again. Your
gonna have to shimmy on up.
DORR:
I am so terribly sorry, madam. But
won't the feline eventually tire of
his lonely perch and, pining for his
master's affection, return on his
own initiative?
MRS. MUNSON
Huh? No, he won't come down less you
fetch him. He'd set there til Gabriel
blows his horn if someone didn't
shimmy up. Up with you now!
DORR:
Well then couldn't we perhaps offer
him kitty treats and enticements, or
if not foodstuffs perhaps squeaky
little toys of the kind formerly
manufactured in Hong Kong but now
produced in the other so-called
"Little Tigers"...
His fingers form the quotes.
DORR:
...of the Pacific Rim? The point
bein', do we have to actually ascend
the tree--
MRS. MUNSON
Look, I don't want no doubletalk. If
you ain't gonna fetch him down I
guess I gotta call the po-lice...
DORR:
Police...
His face darkens.
MRS. MUNSON
They ain't gonna be happy. Every
time they come fetch him down they
swear they won't do it no more...
Dorr casts his hat aside and starts awkwardly climbing the
tree. He gasps as he climbs:
DORR:
No need to call the authorities. I
did this often as a youth -- why, I
was a positive lemur... Here, kitty...
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"The Ladykillers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ladykillers_891>.
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