The Lady Vanishes Page #5

Ah, Mrs Kelly!

Which I presume still is your name,

unless you've gotten married again

on the train.

- You're a swine.

- You know Mrs Rose Flood Porter...

- A complete swine.

- ..and Dr Hartz who saved you last night.

Why didn't you tell me

I had that moustache?

My mother taught me it was bad

manners to make personal remarks

and if, "Hey, lady, your moustache is

showing," isn't a personal remark

I've never heard one! Dr Hartz...

Please! I'm delighted to see you

looking well. No trouble with the head?

Clearly just the usual.

There's a woman missing on this train.

I saw her.

Now people keep saying

she was never there!

- Lovely weather we're having.

- Really lovely.

- Oh.

- Really very lovely.

- Quite warm.

- Not unpleasantly so, though.

- I find it very pleasant indeed.

- Very pleasant.

Look! If you wanna talk about

the weather

like a bunch of creeps, go ahead!

That knock on the head last night,

I wonder if it has affected her?

- Imbibes, does she?

- Drinks like a fish.

Blind as a hoot owl, drunk as a skunk.

Disgraceful!

- Mrs Kelly...

- Leave me alone!

- Just take it easy.

- Will you let go of me?

You're hysterical!

Mrs Kelly... May I ask

what exactly was troubling you...

- It's Miss Froy.

- Who?

This very sweet English lady

who was in my compartment.

- Yes?

- We went and had tea.

Well, she had tea, Harriman's Herbal,

a million Mexicans drink it.

I very sensibly had

a large whisky and soda.

- Oh.

- We came back, I went to sleep...

- Passed out.

- Shut up, swine.

When I woke up, she was gone.

And now, everybody says

she was never there, she never existed.

Even the waiter who brought her tea,

even he says that he never saw her.

Now, are they all crazy

or am I crazy or what?

Hmm. Why don't we go and have

another talk with them?

Perhaps it's just a misunderstanding,

something to do with the language.

Come with me.

It's that one.

She speaks English as well as I do,

so go in there, tell her you're a doctor

and that I won't take any more of this.

Er, please forgive me. There seems

to have been a misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding?

Permit me to introduce myself.

My name is Dr Hartz, Dr Egon Hartz.

Dr Hartz? I am the Baroness Kisling.

I'm honoured, Baroness.

And may I present

my American friends, Mrs Kelly

and Mr Condon,

a famous American newspaperman.

The Baroness Kisling.

A great pleasure.

Mrs Kelly and I are travelling together,

though we have not been

formally introduced.

And now, this misunderstanding.

The English lady sitting there,

the one you said you never saw.

I say I did not see her

because I did not see her.

And I did not see her

because she was never here.

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