The Lady Vanishes

-What's all this fuss about, Charters?

-Damned if l know.

Ladies and gentlemen, train is uphold

and if you wish to stay in my hotel...

you will have

to register immediately.

Why the deuce didn't he say

so in the first place?

How do you do ladies. lt's a great

honour to have you with us again.

lt's nice to see you, Boris. You

haven't changed a bit since Friday.

-l see you haven't shaved.

-ls everything ready?

-Everything. l didn't change anything.

-Not even the sheets? Lead on.

l didn't expect

you to come so quickly.

Our legs gave out. We had to do

the last lap in a farm cart.

We've company. Don't tell me Cook's

are running cheap tours here.

-What is it, Boris?

-The havelunch!

-Have a lunch?

-Avalanche, Boris.

ln spring you've many avalanches. The

snow go boom! Everything disappears.

Even trains disappear

under the avalanche.

But l'm going home tomorrow.

How long before they dig it out?

By morning. lt's lucky you

can leave by this train.

How do you say? lt's a bad wind

that blow nowhere no good.

We haven't

eaten since dawn.

Serve us some supper,

in our rooms.

-l could eat a horse.

-Don't put ideas in his head.

Some chicken, Boris.

And a magnum of champagne.

And make it snappy.

Bandrika may have a dictator but

tonight we're painting it red.

Meanwhile we are here cooling

our heels. What impudence!

-3rd rate country. What do you expect?

-l wonder who those women are.

Probably Americans.

Almighty dollar.

We'll have to wait. lf only we

hadn't missed that train at Budapest.

But you insisted on standing till they

finished their National Anthem...

You must show respect. lf l knew

it was going to last 20 minutes...

lt's my contention that the Hungarian

Rhapsody is not their National Anthem.

-We were the only two standing.

-That's true.

l suppose we shall be

in time after all.

That last report was pretty ghastly.

England on the brink.

Newspaper sensationalism. The old

country's been in tight corners before.

Looks pretty black. Even if

we leave first thing in the morning...

there's still a connection at Basle.

We'll probably be hours.

-That's true.

-Somebody surely can help us.

Sir! Do you know what time

the train leaves Basle for England?

Really! Fellow doesn't

speak English.

Here's one leaves Basle, 21 :20.

There is only two single rooms in

front, or a double room at the back.

-We'll take the two single rooms.

-Very well, sir.

-You might have asked me.

-A small double room in this place...

You weren't so particular

in Paris in Autumn.

That was different.

The Exhibition was at its height.

l realise that.

There's no need to rub it in.

-A private suite with a bath.

-Facing the mountains.

-With a shower.

-Hot and cold.

-And a private thingummy.

-We've only got the maid's room!

-What's this?

-l'm sorry.

-The whole hotel is packed.

-We haven't fixed up yet.

You can't expect the two

of us to sleep in the maid's room.

Don't get excited.

l'll move the maid out.

l should think so. What?

What are you taking about.

l'll sleep on the train.

-There is no eating in the train.

-No eating?

Heating...

That's awkward.

All right we'll take it.

One condition. The maid

has to come to your room...

to remove her wardrobe.

Anna!

She's a good girl,

and l don't want to lose her.

We'd better go and dress.

-Rather primitive humour, l thought.

-Grown up children.

That was an awkward

situation, over that girl.

Pity he couldn't have given us

one each. l mean a room apiece.

l, lris Matilda Henderson,

a spinster of no particular parish...

solemnly renounce my maidenly past

and declare that on Thursday 26...

l shall take the veil and

orange blossom...

and change my name to

Lady Charles Fotheringail.

-Can't he change his name?

-l only like his moustache.

You're cynics.

l'm very fond of him.

l'm fond of rabbits but they

have to be kept down.

Rudolph, give me a hand.

-Do you know that thing called love?

-lt used to be very popular.

The carpet is already laid at

St. Georges, Hanover Square...

and Father is aching to have

a coat of arms on the jam label.

To lris, and the happy days

she's leaving behind.

And the blue blooded cheque chaser

she's dashing to London to marry.

The blue blooded

cheque chaser.

l've no regrets. l've been everywhere

and done everything.

l've eaten caviar at Cannes,

sausage rolls at the dogs.

l've played baccarat at Biarritz

and darts with the rural dean.

What is there left

for me but marriage?

Mustn't lose grip, Charters.

Come in.

-Did you follow that?

-Tell her this has gone far enough.

No...no.

Change... here. Outside.

-She doesn't understand.

-No, come on.

-Nothing newer than last month.

-And no wireless set here.

Awful being in the dark like this.

Communications cut off in a crisis.

Hello, hello, London.

You want Mr Seltzer? Yes hold on.

l'm going to find where he is.

London!

Go on, risk it.

Hello...You... in London. No, l'm not

Mr Seltzer. Name's Charters.

l don't suppose you know me. Don't

worry. They've gone to fetch him.

Tell me, what's

happening to England?

Blowing a gale? No, l'm inquiring

about the test match in Manchester.

Cricket, sir. Cricket!

You don't know?

You can't be in England

and not know the test score.

The fellow says he doesn't know.

Hello, can't you find out?

lt won't take a second.

All right, if you won't, you won't.

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