The Lady Eve Page #5

Don't let me go.

Thank you.

How was everything up the Amazon?

A- All right, thank you.

What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

Are you always going

to be interested in snakes?

Well, snakes are my life in a way.

What a life.

Oh, I-I suppose

it does sound sort of silly.

I mean, I suppose I should have

married and settled down.

I imagine my father

always wanted me to.

As a matter of fact,

he's told me so rather plainly.

I just never cared

for the brewing business.

Oh. You say that's

why you've never married?

Oh, no. It's just that I...

I've never met her.

I suppose she's around

somewhere in the world.

It would be too bad

if you never bumped into each other.

Well...

I- I suppose you know

what she looks like and everything.

I think so.

I'll bet she looks like

Marguerite in Faust.

Oh, no, she isn't...

I mean, she hasn't...

She's not as bulky as an opera singer.

- Oh. How are her teeth?

- Huh?

You should always pick one out with

good teeth. It saves expense later.

- Oh, now you're kidding me.

- Not badly.

You have a right to have an ideal.

Oh, I guess we all have one.

What does yours look like?

He's a little short guy

with lots of money.

- Why short?

- What does it matter if he's rich?

It's so he'll look up to me,

so I'll be his ideal.

- That's a funny kind of reasoning.

- Well, look who's reasoning.

And when he takes me out to dinner,

he'll never add up the check.

And he won't smoke greasy cigars

or use grease on his hair, and...

- Oh, yes, he won't do card tricks.

- Oh!

Oh, it's not that I mind

your doing card tricks, Hopsie.

It's just that you naturally wouldn't

want your ideal to do card tricks.

I shouldn't think that kind of ideal

was so difficult to find.

Oh, he isn't.

That's why he's my ideal.

What's the sense of having one

if you can't ever find him?

Mine is a practical ideal...

you can find two or three of

in every barber shop getting the works.

Why don't you marry one of them?

Why should I marry

anybody that looked like that?

When I marry, it's going to be somebody

I've never seen before.

I won't know what he looks like or

where he'll come from or what he'll be.

I want him to sort of

take me by surprise.

Like a burglar.

That's right.

And the night will be

heavy with perfume,

and I'll hear a step behind me...

and somebody breathing heavily.

And then...

Oh!

Ohhh! You better go to bed, Hopsie.

I think I can sleep peacefully now.

I wish I could say the same.

Why, Hopsie!

Ah, good morning, Mr. Murgatroyd.

- I trust I see you full of sparkle.

- Morning.

- Have a dish of tea?

- I had my breakfast.

Where I come from

we get up in the morning.

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