The Kids Are All Right Page #5

appreciate

you snooping around

our room, okay?

Was that Clay's idea?

No, Mom.

Wait a minute.

I have to say, again,

I don't like him.

I know. I know.

Okay, he seems unstable.

Honey, honey,

that's not what he asked.

Do you want to answer

his question?

Yeah, okay.

Well, sweetie, you know,

human sexuality

is complicated.

And sometimes desire can be,

you know, counterintuitive.

You know, for example,

because women's

sexual responsiveness

is internalized,

sometimes it's exciting

for us to see responsiveness

externalized,

like with a...

Like with a penis.

Wouldn't you guys

just rather watch girls

doing it, though?

Well, you would think that.

But usually in these movies,

they hire two straight

women to pretend,

and the inauthenticity

is just unbearable.

Whoa, that's enough.

Laser, your mom

and I sense

that there's some

other stuff going on

in your life.

We just want

to be let in.

What do you mean?

Are you having a relationship

with someone?

You can tell us, honey.

We would understand

and support you.

Look, I only met him once.

What do you mean once?

- Did he find you online?

- Wait.

What?

Wait, wait, who did

you meet once?

Paul. I met him with Joni.

Paul? Who's Paul?

Why was Joni there?

She set it up.

Wait, forget the set-up.

Who's Paul?

Our sperm donor.

Did you guys think

I was gay?

No.

No way.

Of course not.

Yeah, I mean, we understand

that you'd be curious

about your biological father.

I mean,

it's completely natural.

But why didn't you tell us?

Because we knew

you'd be upset.

We're not upset!

No, no, no.

We're not. We wish that

you'd included us in

the conversation.

That's all.

You know? But...

But you met him,

and that's cool.

And now,

we can move on.

Actually,

I want to see him again.

You do?

Yeah, I was

gonna tell you.

Well, no. Okay?

No way.

No one's seeing anyone

until we meet him.

I get it, okay?

He's their biological father

and all that crap.

But it still feels

really shitty.

Like we're not enough

or something, you know?

Of course I know.

You know, I don't...

I don't want to time-share

our kids with anybody.

Especially when

it's Joni's last summer

at home.

No way.

Jesus, Jules!

The plumber was just here.

God, it's gross.

Look, we have to be

smart about this.

You know, if we act like

grubby b*tches, we're just

gonna make it worse.

I know.

Let's just kill him

with kindness

and put it to bed.

I'm with you, honey.

We're gonna get

through this, okay?

I love you, chicken.

I love you, too, pony.

Paul. It's so great

to meet you. H i. Yeah.

Great to meet you, too.

Hey. Jules.

Hello, Jules.

I'm Nic.

Hi, Nic.

Hi.

I hope the traffic

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