The Kid

Synopsis: Russ Duritz (Bruce Willis) is a wealthy L.A. image consultant, but as he nears 40, he's cynical, dogless, chickless, estranged from his father (Daniel von Bargen), and he has no memories of his childhood. One night he surprises an intruder (Spencer Breslin), who turns out to be a kid, almost 8 years old. There's something oddly familiar about the chubby lad, whose name is Rusty. The boy's identity sparks a journey into Russ's past that the two of them take - to find the key moment that has defined who Russ is. Two long-suffering women look on with disbelief: Russ's secretary, Janet(Lily Tomlin), and his assistant, the lovely Amy, to whom Rusty takes a shine. What, and who, is at the end of this journey?
Director(s): Jon Turteltaub
Production: Disney
  1 win & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
49%
PG
Year:
2000
104 min
$68,493,389
Website
12 Views

I'm sorry. I can't seem to find

my purse. I must have ten of'em.

- Can you just ring mine first, please?

- There's someone ahead of you, sir.

I usually keep my change in

my little change bear, but...

That's almost interesting.

How much is hers?

- 5.26.

- Just add it on, please.

Hold on, hold on. If it's not

in this one, it'll be in another one.

- That'll be 9.65.

- Thank you very much.

- How sweet.

- You didn't have to do that for me.

- I didn't do it for you.

Check some bags next time.

Jerk.

- How can I help you, Governor?

- Some dirtbag...

dirtbag... from

the attorney general's office...

had dared to mention

the word "jail."

Waaah.

Waaah!

- Somebody call the "waaambulance"!

- What? What did you say?

Governor, do you know what the number

one killer of politicians

under the age of 60 is?

- No.

- Self-pity.

Now, Governor, I'll be more than happy

to help you out of this mess...

that you so willingly

seem to have stepped into.

- But you ought to do something.

- What's that?

- Stop crying.

- I'll try.

No, I mean right now.

You're giving me a headache.

Excuse me, folks,

anything more to drink?

- Do y'all have any single-malt scotch?

- Sure do.

So, what do you do for a living?

You wanna tell me about it? You know,

comfort of strangers and all that.

No.

Oh. Must be something

on the Internet.

Or finance.

Genetic engineering,

maybe, huh?

- I'm an image consultant, okay?

- Okay.

So you sort of

troubleshoot for folks?

You know, give 'em makeovers

when they need revamping, right?

Right.

Hey, look...

I'm flying to L.A. to start

an anchor job in the local news...

and I do not think that it's an accident

that I'm sitting next to you.

I see.

So the cosmic purpose...

of our meeting is for me

to give you free advice.

- What do I get out of it?

- We don't know yet.

But I'll owe you.

- If I do it, will you shut up?

- Quiet as the dead.

Your hair's too big, your brows

are too dark, your nails are too long...

and your foundation's too orange.

Your perfume's too sweet.

It's the news, honey, not the prom.

- I like your eyes...

- Oh. Thank you.

Bluer.

Try the tinted contacts.

But only when you're

anchoring or in L.A.

- When you're on assignment,

take them out.

- What about my accent?

I'm always being warned

to stop saying "y'all."

Don't ever stop saying "y'all."

Your "y'all" is your trademark.

Say "y'all," and you'll be

promoted in six months.

Say "y'all" with a smile,

you'll be famous in 12.

Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

Now, will you please shut up?

All right, let me have him.

Hello, Your Honour. How are you?

Good. Thank you.

Define "not exactly alone."

Your Honour,

was this mannequin inflatable?

You know if the press...

Dodged one bullet.

Listen, this is all

gonna blow over.

Hey! Did you see the...

the...

Yeah.

Twelve cream pies are on

their way over to the stadium.

Bob Riley expects you

in the owner's box at 3:00.

Amy will meet you there.

And why are you wearing a yellow tie?

Janet. How could you know I'm wearing

my yellow tie? You can't even see me.

I can hear the stress

in your voice.

Whenever you're stressed,

you wear the yellow tie...

which makes you feel all-powerful,

so you're probably gonna yell at me...

which I'm not

in the mood for, so don't.

- Nice tie.

- I am not stressed.

There is nothing wrong with me. I just

didn't get enough sleep last night.

- Can I have today's work, please?

- Take your phone off.

You're with a human now.

I did the ones and twos.

There's a three, a four.

I flagged the five in your mail.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Audrey Wells

Audrey Wells (born April 29, 1960) is an American screenwriter, film director, and producer.Wells was born in San Francisco, California, and worked as a disc jockey at San Francisco jazz radio station KJAZ FM. She graduated from U.C. Berkeley and UCLA. She has written a number of successful screenplays and has directed three for which she had created the script. Among her notable works is The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996) and Under the Tuscan Sun (2003), both of which she also produced. Her works to date have been primarily comedies and/or romance films. Her 1999 film Guinevere was entered into the 21st Moscow International Film Festival.Wells co-wrote the script for the comedy The Game Plan. more…

All Audrey Wells scripts | Audrey Wells Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this The Kid script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"The Kid" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 21 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_kid_20575>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

The Kid

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.