The Jewel of the Nile Page #4

Hey, where the hell you going?

Holy sh*t!

Well, Colton, looks like

we've hitched our wagon to a star.

Stop that! Stop it!

Excuse me?

What does this mean?

- Do you speak English?

- "Give back the Jewel."

- Give back the jewel?

- Yeah. Eid lana Al-Jawhara.

You can't do that! I'm a professional.

We'll see about that.

If you don't tell me

what the hell is going on here,

- I'll be on the first plane back to New York.

- It's impossible.

Tomorrow we journey to Kadir. You must be

there. It will be your most important chapter.

- I can't write if you keep secrets from me.

- What secrets?

What is the Jewel?

The Jewel is a legend.

I am real.

Do not be distracted

from your mission, Joan Wilder.

Make yourself comfortable.

You stay with me until our book is done.

You can't keep me here!

Go. You are free to leave.

Only the worst kind of fool

would attempt our desert alone.

I gotta get off this camel.

It's breaking my ass! Colton!

- You gotta hang on and take it.

- I can't.

- The camp's coming up.

- Sh*t!

You are welcome!

We have food! We have drink!

You got a toilet?

So how big is this jewel?

Very, very big. Very big. Very, very big.

Very big.

It's as big as this orange?

- It's as big as an orange.

- The Jewel is the heart of our people.

Omar steals the heart of our people.

- Omar is thief.

- Omar is very bad man.

Before Omar steal Jewel, everything good.

Now everything is sh*t!

You help us find the Jewel,

and we give you great reward.

But if you lie to us, you die.

But now we dance!

Look at these guys, Colton.

No sheep is safe tonight.

We split it right down the middle,

Colton. 50-50.

What are you talking about?

Don't play stupid with me, partner.

The Jewel.

And don't you even think of

messing with me.

Oh, what's that I hear?

A heart breaking? You sap!

Keep your mind on business.

You'll wind up getting yourself killed

over some broad who dumped you.

Jewels!

Oh, Omar!

I want you lot to be careful!

See that word "Fragile" on the side?

It means don't drop... Why don't you listen?

I might love your country, your culture,

and even your people! That means I love you!

But you drop one more of my boxes,

and I'll smash your bloody face in!

You tell Omar, right - Omar -

that his special-effects wizard has arrived!

Come on, then.

War plans? Oh, my God! What is he up to?

Wait till Time magazine sees this.

You bastard! You burnt my hand!

I didn't say it wouldn't burn.

I said it wouldn't hurt! There's no blistering.

- I've done it hundreds of times on stage.

- This is not a cheap theatrical stunt!

- It's a miracle! My people have to believe it!

- Omar, trust me. Trust what I've got to say.

Look, if I can make gods out of rock'n'roll

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