The Italian Job Page #4

Sorry it's like this, Charlie.

Listen, lads, er... you wouldn't hit

a fella... with no trousers on.

- Would you?

- OK, then, put 'em on.

Get away from me!

- Have you seen Croker?

- Yes, Mr Bridger.

- Well, I want you to see him again.

- He won't take kindly to that.

- I'm interested in his scheme.

- But, Mr Bridger...

What you fail to realise

is that we have a new objective.

The Chinese are giving FIA four million dollars in gold,

as a down payment on a car plant

they're constructing near Peking.

But Croker...

Croker can handle it.

He's got everything going for him.

There's even a football match in

Turin the day before the delivery.

England versus ltaly. The English

supporters can cover his movements,

even help him, if required.

There's only one snag.

We need an expert in computers

to look after the technical end.

The top man is Professor Peach.

I've seen him on television.

- Tell Croker to get him.

- But how?

- Maybe the Professor's not bent.

- Camp Freddie,

everybody in the world is bent.

Well, my brother's no longer with us,

I'm afraid.

- No.

- You mean, he's...

Oh, no, no, nothing like that.

Well, actually, he's in a home.

Yes. We thought it best.

For his own good.

Er... was it, er... serious,

Miss Peach?

- Pam.

- Serious, was it?

- What?

- Your brother. In the home.

Oh, yes, I'm afraid

it was quite serious, dear.

- Isn't this greenfly awful?

- Yes.

Yes, well, not to put

a too fine point to it,

he was discovered... in the lounge.

- Er... doing what, Miss Peach?

- Where?

- In the, er... lounge.

- Oh, yes, he was doing it. Yes.

What?

Oh. Well, something quite obscene.

With Annette.

- A net?

- Annette.

She was terrified, of course.

- Naturally.

- Yes, well, would you like some tea?

- Eh?

- Tea. Would you like some?

- You're very kind. Yes, please.

- Good.

Excuse me a minute.

Annette? Annette, would you serve tea

in the lounge, dear?

I shouldn't let her do that, dear.

That gives them ideas.

This is Annette.

Professor Peach,

do you see what I'm getting at?

Mmm. Your brawn, my brain.

I'm not stupid, you know.

Cooperation, isn't it?

Like that flagpole out there.

- Flagpole?

- The flagpole in the yard.

I know if there was a convex mirror

up there,

see straight into Matron's bedroom!

But somebody else

would have to be up the pole.

Couldn't do it myself. Cooperation,

you see? She's a big woman.

Here... Wait till you see

them Italian birds.

- Are they big? I like them big.

- They're enormous.

- Really?

- Very, very, very big.

Would we, er... wear stockings

over our heads?

- No need for you to.

- Oh. I'd like that.

I could steal one of Matron's,

couldn't I?

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