The Ipcress File

Thank you.

- Just these.

- Right.

- What train, sir?

- 7:
55 to Nottingham.

- There's a reservation for Dr Radcliffe.

- Yes, sir.

'The 7:
55 express

leaving platform 13

'will stop at Rugby, Leicester,

Nottingham and Sheffield.'

- Thank you very much indeed.

- Thank you, sir.

- All right?

- Yes, thank you.

Well, have a good holiday,

and Henderson will meet you.

- Yes. Yes.

- Right. Bye.

'leaving platform 13

'will stop at Rugby, Leicester,

Nottingham and Sheffield.'

All aboard.

Dr Radcliffe, you forgot your camera?

Where's Dr Radcliffe?

Morning.

You should get up in the morning.

20 minutes late you are, you know.

- Anything new?

- It's all in the report.

And it's neat and tidy - unlike some.

You ought to remember

you're still in the army, boyo.

I'll tell you what, you remember for me.

9:
45am, postal delivery.

The postman was your man Haggerty,

delivered two packets and four letters.

9:
56am, the baker's van called.

Left two large brown and a sliced white.

They had an extra pint of milk

which either means there are more

people there or they're drinking more tea.

What are you doing here?

You're not due on for hours yet.

Ross wants you. So old muggins here

has to come down and relieve you.

- What does he want? Did he tell you?

- No.

Didn't he say anything?

Yes. I'm in his full confidence, I am.

Blast you and blast old Ross.

- You know what?

- No, what?

You've got some wiping to do -

that tape's still running. Good morning.

- Morning.

- Morning, sir.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Come on, little pigeons.

Come in, Palmer.

- Sergeant Palmer reporting as ordered.

- Close the door.

And don't slouch into my office

like a pregnant camel. Stand to attention.

At ease.

Is that my B-107, sir?

As if you didn't know.

And it makes awful reading, Palmer.

You just love the army, don't you?

Oh, yes, sir. I just love the army, sir.

We may find you a better audience

for your jokes.

- I'm transferring you to Major Dalby.

- Oh. What will be my job, sir?

It could give your peculiar talents

more scope than observation duties.

- At least you won't be stuck in an attic.

- Er, is this a promotion, sir?

- Sort of.

- Any more money?

Let's see.

You're on 1300 pay and allowances.

Yes, sir.

- I'll try and get you 1400.

- Oh, thank you, sir.

- Now I can get that new infrared grill.

- Save your money.

You won't have much time for cooking.

Dalby works his men.

And he doesn't have

my sense of humour.

Yes, sir. I will miss that, sir.

All right, come on, I'll take you over.

Er, the B-107, must that go with us?

I'm afraid so.

Come along, Palmer.

. .To take any old job

. .no, not weekends.

Oh. Good morning, sir.

The butler you asked for

is upstairs waiting to be interviewed.

Just go through the door,

along the passage and up the stairs.

- Got it?

- Er, yes, thank you.

Do you mind waiting?

Sir.

. . I don't think I'm difficult,

it's just these jobs.

Well, I mean

Good morning, Dalby.

- Good morning sir.

- I've just read your T-104.

I thought that might speed your arrival.

It did.

It's a pity you lost Radcliffe.

We were expecting something like that.

I hope you're not imputing negligence.

My dear chap,

there's no question of that.

Let me put you in the picture, Dalby.

The killing of Radcliffe's guard

has verified our suspicions.

For some time we've had a section

investigating the brain drain.

Too many government scientists

are leaving their jobs

at the peak of their careers -

they cease to function.

- You've checked on them, of course?

- Naturally. We checked on them all.

126 have left in the past two years.

107 had fair enough reasons to go -

better facilities, better pay.

Three defected to the other side.

- And the other 16?

- 17 with Radcliffe. 17 top men.

What defies probability

is that none of them

had a rational explanation for quitting.

But Radcliffe didn't quit.

- He was lifted.

- Exactly.

Now we think

we've got our first real lead.

And I want you to get Radcliffe back.

- I'll try, of course.

- That's not good enough.

If you don't get him back, the people

upstairs might have to close you down.

Now wait a minute.

This department was set up

for counterespionage

not security grade one surveillance

on people like Radcliffe.

Neither were Wilson's

or Roberts's departments

but I put them on S1 duties.

They were War Office, I'm Home Office.

I'm aware of that, Dalby.

I set you up, remember?

You have a very good job

for a passed-over major, haven't you?

Hm.

I've brought you

a replacement for Taylor.

Hm?

What's he like?

A little insubordinate but a good man.

Sergeant Palmer.

- That's it, Mrs Norman.

- It's not much.

After doing Lyons Corner House

you can't expect me to clean a pub.

- It's a good hotel.

- I don't know.

I'd do better at the labour exchange.

Yes, sir? You can go up now.

Good luck, Palmer.

And don't forget your mop.

- Good morning, sir.

- Morning.

Through the door,

along the passage and up the stairs.

Got it!

Shut the door.

It isn't usual to read a B-107

to its subject, Palmer,

but I'm going to put you straight.

"Insubordinate,

"insolent

"and a trickster

"perhaps with criminal tendencies."

Yes, that's a pretty fair appraisal.

- Sir.

- Good.

That last quality might be useful.

But if I have any trouble with you,

I shall bite you, Palmer,

and I shall bite you so hard you'll go

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