The Invisible Man

Hold it!

Ten. 20.

Did you hear about

Mrs Mason's little Willy?

Sent him to school and found him

buried ten foot deep in a snowdrift.

- How did they get him out?

- Brought the fire engine round.

Put the hose pipe in, pumped it

backwards and sucked him out.

(applause)

(piano starts)

(laughter)

- Perfect bull's-eye.

- (door opening)

(piano stops abruptly)

I want a room and a fire.

- Jenny?

- Hello?

There's a gent here

what wants a room and a fire.

What, a room?

I said a room.

We ain't got none ready,

not at this time of year.

We don't usually have folks stopping,

except in the summer.

You can get one ready.

Certainly, sir. Millie!

Yes?

- I want a private sitting room, too.

- Certainly, sir.

Will you come through, sir? This way, sir.

It's the coldest winter

we've had down here for years.

They put all the sheep and the cows in

for a fortnight now.

Poor things. They can't get

a blade of green grass.

You may be near-sighted,

but you can't be deaf-and-dumb as well.

Could I take your coat and hat, sir,

and give 'em a nice dry in the kitchen?

No.

- I prefer to keep them on.

- Very good, sir.

The room will be warm soon.

I've got some luggage at the station.

How can I have it sent?

I'll get it dropped over tomorrow.

Are you staying a bit?

Yes.

- Is there no way of getting it tonight?

- Not tonight, sir.

Very well.

Bring me some food.

Right away, sir.

If you ask me,

he's a criminal flying from justice.

Go on. He's snow-blind, that's what he is.

Has to wear goggles to save his eyes.

Anyway, you be careful,

and lock your money up.

A bottle of Bass, Herbert.

Here you are, dear.

I hope he'll be a bit more

communicative this time.

(knocks)

Your supper's there.

Is there a key to that door?

A key, sir? Ooh, I haven't ever seen one.

I don't think there was one

when we came here.

I want to be left alone, and undisturbed.

I'll see that no one disturbs you, sir.

The mustard, ma'am.

You'll be the death of me

with your slowness.

You let me take his supper in

and forget the mustard.

And him wanting to be left alone!

(Jenny mutters)

There she goes again.

I told you not to disturb me.

It's only the mustard, sir. I forgot it.

- I'm sorry.

- Thank you.

Have you been motoring

on them slippery roads, sir?

You can take my overcoat and dry it.

Very good, sir.

- Leave the hat.

- Yes, sir.

Bandages, right up to the top of his head.

All round his ears.

- Any blood?

- No. No blood.

Looks like some kind of 'orrible accident.

Bumped his head

on the prison wall gettin' over.

Father.

I wish you'd leave me alone,

Flora, when I'm working.

I can't bear it. We've got to do something.

- Do something? What about?

- About Jack.

He'll come back. Don't you worry.

Father, please put

that horrid thing down and listen.

It's nearly a month now, without a word.

But the note he left was quite clear.

He said we might not hear for a while.

It's good to go away when

you're finishing a difficult experiment.

- What kind of experiment is it, Father?

- Something of his own.

I had a terrible feeling last night.

I felt he was in desperate trouble.

Hello, Kemp. Flora's worried about Griffin.

I don't wonder. I should have thought

at least he could drop a line.

It's a queer thing.

It certainly is,

considering he was in your employ.

He had my permission to carry out

his own experiments in his spare time.

And to clear off when he liked?

What does it matter, if he's in trouble?

(Flora sobbing)

I've got the car outside.

It'll give you a rest to come for a run.

Do you think there are

any papers in his room?

Surely he must have arranged where

he was going. There may be letters.

He left burnt papers

in his fireplace, that's all.

He was so strange those last few days

before he went. So excited and strung up.

Yet he wouldn't say a word to explain.

I've never seen him like it before.

He was always so keen

to tell me about his experiments.

He meddled in things

men should leave alone.

Your father's a scientist. He's discovered

more about preserving food than anyone.

Jack and I were employed to help him.

That's a plain, straightforward job.

It's not romantic, but it saves

hundreds of deaths and stomachaches.

What things should men leave alone?

He worked in secret. He kept a lot of stuff

locked in a big cupboard in his laboratory.

He never opened it until he'd barred

the door and drawn the blinds.

Straightforward scientists have no need

for barred doors and drawn blinds.

He cares nothing for you, Flora.

He'll never care about anything

but test tubes and chemicals.

How can he go away like this

without a word?

Flora, dear. Please, darling,

let me tell you how I feel.

- I can't work or sleep until I know.

- Leave me alone! How can you?

(mutters)

There's a way back, you fool.

There must be a way back.

(knocking)

- What is it?

- Your luncheon.

- Take it away.

- You don't want it cold, do you?

Do you suppose that I'm going to carry

trays backwards and forwards all day?

Luncheon's at one, and it's one now!

Get out!

(screams)

He's not gonna stay under this roof,

not another hour!

Crashed the tray out of me hand,

and swore at me.

Turns my best sitting room

into a chemist's shop.

Spillages on the carpets!

And him a week behind with his money!

Go and tell him if he ain't

packed up and gone in half an hour,

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