The Invention of Lying Page #3

screenplay by Brad Kessler

and starring Nathan Goldfrappe,

And so Napoleon invaded Russia

with a brute force

of nearly 700,000 men behind him,

armed with muskets

and supported by cannon brigades.

Crippled by disease and hunger,

Napoleon's men persevered.

It was then that...

Oh, look, everyone.

There's Mark Bellison,

one of Lecture Films' very own screenwriters.

Mark is one of Lecture Films'

least successful screenwriters.

I also hear he's most likely

getting fired today.

Let's go to the editing bay, where we can

watch them put the final touches

on the upcoming Lecture Films feature,

- Right this way.

Morning, Shelley.

Hi, Mark.

I realise more and more every day

how overqualified I am for this position

and how incompetent you are at yours.

Any messages?

Anthony is coming up with in the hour to see

if he can get up the courage to fire you.

If he can't, he said

that he'll definitely do it tomorrow.

Anything else?

Any messages not to do with being fired?

Well, I told everyone

you're getting fired this week

and they shouldn't expect

their calls returned,

so no one left any messages.

Okay. Next time...

I don't think there'll be a next time.

... take the message,

just in case I don't get fired.

You're almost definitely getting fired.

Yeah, but I'm still here now, so...

Seems like a waste of time.

No, it's not.

You're getting paid for it, so let's

take the message in case I don't get...

-But everyone knows that you are.

-Hasn't happened yet.

Okay. But everyone knows you are.

I'll be in the office, don't...

Okay.

I'll be searching for new jobs on Craigslist.

You should probably

just get on with your work.

No, thank you!

Anthony?

Come in. What?

Come in.

Well, you look really depressed today.

That's gonna make this so much harder.

-Anthony, don't fire me.

-Oh, Mark.

The 1300s, they're so boring.

And the last two scripts

you turned in were depressing.

They were about the Black Plague.

It's the 1300s.

What am I meant to write about?

It's not totally your fault, Mark.

You got stuck with a tough century.

-No, no, I can make it work.

-Mark.

Just give it up.

Nothing new is gonna

have happened in the 1300s.

At Lecture Films, we just want to take

the big-name readers of the day

and have them read the stories

that people know and love.

I'm having...

Can I... Do you mind if I...

-I come back and do this tomorrow?

-Oh, well...

No, I just got nervous about firing you.

I just don't do well with confrontation.

Hey, maybe... Maybe if I just sleep on it.

Well, then I'll be thinking,

"Will he fire me, won't he fire me?"

-You're fired.

-I am fired, yeah? 'Cause I sort of...

Yeah. Oh, boy.

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