The Inbetweeners Page #4

checking me out

# From afar, yes, she wants my dick

There ain't a doubt

# Now I'm in a lift, getting lips

How dumb is this girl?

# But do I care? Do I f***!

I'm on a roll! Yo! #

Malia flight?

Yep.

Delay, seven hours.

And please remove those T-shirts,

or we won't allow you to board the plane.

Despite Neil offering... twice,

they didn't let him drive the plane.

Finally, though, we'd made it on holiday,

and Jay's thoughts on the beautiful isle

of Crete, birthplace of Zeus,

were as insightful as ever.

- I'm hot.

- It is well hot.

- Might be too hot.

- Might be.

Oh!

Carli! Carli!

Carls!

Oh.

Sorry.

Oi, Jay, Jay...

Tidy minge, ten o'clock.

Jay? Jay!

Didn't you see them girls?

Why don't you chirps 'em?

- I can't handle that many at once, Neil.

- Really? What about that netball team?

Yeah, that was all right,

cos that was a luxury caravan.

But this coach is way too small

for my moves.

Ah, course.

Right, so, the plan is

get to the apartment, unpack,

get some sleep,

then head out fresh tomorrow.

First up, the Minoan Palace at Knossos.

Have you come on a lads' holiday

by mistake?!

We haven't come

halfway round the world...

to look at some boring f***ing

Greek ruins.

Yeah, you can see that sh*t

anywhere.

We go there, drop the bags off,

then go straight out and get spasticated.

Simples.

But I've not slept for 37 hours.

Shut up and try and get

some sleep on here, then.

Fine, good idea.

# We love you Burnley, we do

# We love you Burnley, we do

# We love you Burnley, we do

Oh, Burnley, we love you!

- # Oh, Burn-a-ley

- # Oh, Burn-a-ley

- # Is wonderful

- # Oh, Burn-a-ley is wonderful... #

# Can you hear the Preston sing?

I can't hear a f***ing thing... #

When people ask me if I like

football, I say yes. I do like football.

But not Burnley.

Burnley can f*** off.

# Come on, Burnley!

# Oh, Burn-a-ley is wonderful! #

It was a tense moment.

Someone was obviously staying here.

Right, then, McKenzie party.

This is you.

Good one, fellas! Don't worry,

it'll look nice when it's finished.

- # Oh, Burn-a-ley!

- # Oh, Burn-a-ley!

# Is wonderful... #

This don't look like the pictures.

I still don't know

how the dog died.

I can only presume it threw itself

in the well, rather than stay here.

You Willy?

Yes.

Your key. You have fun.

But not too much fun.

You sh*t on floor - 50 euro fine.

Each time!

All right, lads!

- Are you stopping here?

- Yes. We are.

Bad luck. I've just come back

from Afghanistan,

and conditions there

are better than this shithole.

I can't wait to get back to lying

in a dusty trench,

being shot at by some raghead.

Are you married?

- No.

- Don't get married.

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