The In-Laws

Synopsis: In four days, Jerry Peyser and Steve Tobias will become in-laws when their respective offspring, Melissa Peyser and Mark Tobias, get married. Married Jerry is a Chicago area podiatrist. He is risk averse to an extreme, afraid of heights including being in tall buildings and flying, even watching airline commercials. He is also extremely controlling, having organized the lavish wedding against the simple affair Melissa had envisioned. He is aggravated that he has not yet met Steve, who has missed one family function after another. Divorced Steve is a photocopy machine salesman... or so Mark says. In reality, Steve is a deep undercover CIA field agent, something that Mark knows but is unable to divulge to anyone, even Tracy and her family. His work, which has always overtaken his life, is the reason Steve has missed all these family events. Steve is unwilling to hand over reigns of his cases to his junior partner, the capable Angela Harris. Steve finally meets the Peysers, which Steve ma
Director(s): Andrew Fleming
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
98 min

You will see that her fingerprint

matches exactly.

That's very nice. Very, very nice.


...when will your buyer have the money?

He should have the money

within a week.

You will do it in four days.

Four days. That's Sunday.

I've got something going on on Sunday.

Sunday will be fine. I'll work out

my schedule. I'll juggle it, not to worry.

One more thing.

If I come to America with Olga... think you can get me tickets

to Cline Dion?

I will not only get you tickets,

I will get you backstage.

And if we're really lucky,

you'll have coffee with her, okay?

Get down!

There's your guys.

See you in four days?

- How'd it go?

- Well, I had a minor snag.

Not bad.

I would've liked to gotten in

a double twist before the blowup.

Heads up.

- Thanks, doll-face.

- Anytime.

You got any gum?

Put your thumb in there.

So Cherkasov wants

to do the deal on Sunday.

The wedding's on Sunday.

I knew that.

I wouldn't forget my only son's wedding.

We'll just have to juggle.

Don't think of it as a problem,

think of it as an opportunity for a solution.

- So have you met the bride's family yet?

- No, I'm a little worried about that.

- About what?

- Well, the father. He's a doctor.

You know how they are. They think

they're better than all the rest of us.

He's probably a brain surgeon

or something.

I need you to listen

to me carefully now...

...because it's getting very, very serious.

All right.

Now, the fungus on your toes

is coming back.

Are you putting the powder in your shoes?

Are you using the cream at night?


If a piano was falling on your head,

you move out of the way "sometimes"?

It's a fungus. I wasn't worried.

Start worrying! It doesn't hurt to worry.

Dr. Peyser, your daughter's here.

I'll be right back.

- Hey, Daddy.

- Hi, sweetie.

What'd you want?

The Mortons are bringing

their children now.

- You know their 8-year-old, Irwin?

- Yeah.

He has a shoe fetish.

I had them at the table

with Uncle Bernie and Aunt Thelma...

...but I think this is a problem.

- Thelma was beaten up in a shoe store.

- My God.

I don't wanna put them together. I'll move

Bernie and Thelma to the 12-step table.

Fine. Whatever you want, Dad.

I just don't want you to be too anxious

about the seating chart.

No, I'm fine. I just want

the best wedding in the world, that's all.

Marc's only requirement is that

his parents are at separate tables...

...facing away from each other,

and out of earshot.

- I know.

- And his dad's coming over at 7 tonight.

- I'll believe that when I see it.

- Marc swears he'll be there this time.

- Well, I'm making a veal.

- Nice, Dad.

Okay, I'll sign off on this and fax it

to the new caterer and we're done.

- The new caterer?

- Yeah, you know that.

Daddy, you fired another caterer?

They weren't caterers.

That was a man and his wife and lettuce.

Okay. Fine. I didn't even want a caterer,

I just wanted six people and a beach, but...

Melissa, this is what you want.

This is the wedding you'll remember.

You're right.

Thank you, Dad.


Get the beach out of your head,

it's overrated.

You'll be standing there in front

of an E. Coli sign.

Shit. We got a fire in number one again.

Got any halon left?


We're losing altitude.

We're coming up on Nova Scotia.

- How about Thibodoux?

- You're meeting his person tonight.

I can't tonight.

I've got the in-laws for dinner.

I've blown them off three times.

I can meet with Thibodoux's person.

You do the parent thing.

No. You're not ready yet.

- Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

- Who got you into this business?

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Nat Mauldin

Nat Mauldin is an American screenwriter, television writer and film producer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The In-Laws" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 Apr. 2021. <>.

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