
The Hunting Party
When I was a kid,
I used to carry
a rabbit's foot for good luck.
But in Somalia,
I traded it for two cold Budweisers
and a back issue of Penthouse.
You hear people talk
about the horrors of war all the time,
but the dirty little secret is,
if you're just reporting it,
war has its bright side as well.
I know, I know. I'm sacrilegious.
But being that close to death,
being that alive,
it's completely addictive.
And if anyone tells you otherwise,
they are lying.
F*ck!
I know.
I worked with Simon Hunt for nine years.
We worked as a team
for the network news covering wars
from El Salvador to Desert Storm
to the killing fields of Bosnia.
Are we moving or what?
Yes, we're moving.
I just wish I had a fucking Quaalude.
No one was crazier than he was.
No one was as dangerous,
as fun, or as good as he was.
Damn!
Even in the very worst of times.
God damn it.
You film any of that?
Are you kidding me?
Well, what the hell are we doing here,
writing for Travel and fucking Leisure?
We're here for one purpose
and one purpose only,
and that's to get some
goddamn news footage here.
That's why you're going to go back out
into this mess and shoot something.
Ridiculous.
Afraid not, Duckie Boy.
Okay. You film it.
- No, you fucking film it.
- You fucking film it.
I don't know how to use
the fucking camera.
Screw me.
Simon gave me balls
I never even knew I had.
Of course, during our years together
I got shot four times,
as much as a scratch.
But together we won lots of awards.
Simon liked to point out, however,
that news awards were like hemorrhoids:
Eventually, every asshole gets one.
But the fact was
Simon was the best in the business,
and everyone knew it.
He cared the most.
He got the best stories.
during the winter of 1994 in Bosnia.
All the senseless brutality
of every war we had covered
crystallized in one perfect
winter of tragedy.
And then one day Simon snapped.
once in their lifetime:
At a boss...
at a lover...
at the world.
But Simon's was a doozy.
And I filmed it all,
recording it for every journalism major
to download from here to fucking eternity.
We now go to Simon Hunt
in Bosnia with the story.
that has ravaged
this once multi-ethnic country,
Doctor Boghanovic's Bosnian Serb army
continues in its quest to liquidate
the Bosnian Muslims from this region,
today attacking yet another
supposed UN-protected village at will.
Simon, some are saying
that it was the Bosnian Muslims
who attacked first,
causing this latest battle.
- Simon, some are saying...
- It wasn't a battle, Franklin.
It wasn't a battle, it was a slaughter.
Well, Simon, certain
United Nations observers confirm...
Who are you talking about?
Are you talking about the Dutch?
The Dutch?
with the Serb army guys on slivovice
at the checkpoint earlier this morning.
- Okay, thank you, Simon Hunt...
- Safe areas?
These people were butcheredl
Women were rapedl
Children were murderedl
Oh, come on, Franklinl
Come on, don't get your panties
all in a twist.
- We're live, Simon.
- Lathered up.
You and your editor boys,
you can cut this part out of air.
There have been many distinguished
moments in television history.
This wasn't one of them.
After that, everything changed.
Simon, of course, got canned.
And I, on the other hand,
received the opposite end
of the network spear.
I got promoted.
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Citation
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"The Hunting Party" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_hunting_party_10398>.