The Humbling Page #4

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emotional at this point,

I had to remove myself.

You know what I'm saying?

And I'm...

watching her like I'm watching

a Tennessee Williams play.

I need someone to kill my husband.

Did you ask if she was ever

under psychiatric care before?

- No.

- Weren't you curious?

Well, to be honest,

it never entered my mind.

I'm sure you can find... you'll be

able to find somebody that can do that.

Well, you.

If I was a killer,

I would tell you this.

I'd do it pro bono.

I'd do it, but, you know,

I'm an out-of-work actor.

I'd botch the job, I'm sure.

So, you know...

Are you serious? Are you serious?

Yeah. I mean,

of course I'm willing to pay.

Oh, no. Sybil, Sybil, listen.

When you do a play,

do you ever ask about

the character's background, past?

- Of course, yeah.

- But not in real life?

I saw you in that film about the man

who slaughters all his neighbors.

Yeah, murders the neighbor next door.

Yeah. You were so convincing.

That was a fiction, Sybil. Fiction.

You can't just go around asking people

if they'd kill your husband for you.

It's not done.

It's socially...

socially awkward.

- You know?

- But you're not.

You're not people, Simon.

- What?

- You're my friend.

Yum, yum, yummy.

I lost my talent for no good reason

and now just as arbitrarily,

I'm losing the desire to kill myself.

Or it's... I mean, I lost it.

The most important thing is you're

leaving here a stronger man.

And remember, we'll continue

our private sessions on Skype.

Oh, yeah, Skype.

I got that in my head, you know.

- Yeah. Good.

- All the instructions in my head.

Well, you know, my big worry is that

every time I see a camera,

I sort of, you know,

I feel the need to perform.

- It's a habit.

- Don't expect any applause. It's just us.

- Hi.

- Hi. May I help you?

You don't remember me?

Oh, man, you're kidding.

Little Pegeen.

How are you? Come on in. Wow.

It's a delivery from my parents.

Oh, gee, thanks. Wow.

God. I still have this image of you

sucking at your mother's breast.

Pure class.

Well...

You know, when I was, like,

8 and you were, like, 40,

I had a massive crush on you?

- You did? Whoa.

- Big time.

Well...

- Look at you now.

- Yeah.

Do I have something on my face

or do you always space out

in the direction of people

you haven't seen in a while?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I was staring, wasn't I?

I was a little lost. I'm sorry.

Simon Axler, whose presence in a room

is as dazzling as his presence on stage.

Simon Axler,

with the charisma that kills.

What happened? Did you get shot?

What brings you here?

I live near you now.

I teach at Westcott.

You teach? At Westcott Women's College?

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