The Hot Rock

- Name?

- Dortmunder.

This way.

Sign here.

- What is your name?

- Dortmunder.

- Your first name?

- John.

Put your package

on the table right here.

Step over here.

Gimme your right hand.

Get over this way a little bit.

All right, swish your thumb

in the red dish, take a napkin...

wipe your finger off

and remain standing there.

- Your name?

- John Dortmunder.

Do you wanna, uh,

check your belongings, please?

I couldn't let you leave without

hearing my rehabilitation speech.

Sign here.

You don't have to worry about me

getting rehabilitated, sir.

I already am.

Thanks to you

and your prison programs.

Johnny. Johnny.

This is me, remember?

No matter what institution I'm at,

sooner or later I got you inside it.

You couldn't, um, really go straight?

My heart wouldn't

be in it, Frank.

Man on discharge.

Dortmunder!

Damn. Dortmunder!

What the hell you running for?

It's me, your old pal, Kelp.

- Ah.

- So how was it this time?

Not bad.

I learned plumbing.

Man of your talents

can't be a plumber.

You don't have to worry yourself

about my talents.

I'm not doin'

any more jobs with you.

Who mentioned a job?

You mean, you don't think it's possible

I came out of friendship?

Look, I happen to be married

to your sister, and we both

happen to care for you.

And if you think that's easy,

you're wrong because you're

a very abrasive fellow.

Most people can't stand you.

Am I right?

You're still as fascinating as ever.

I took a hell of a risk

stealing this car so

you'd have a little comfort...

to ease you back into society.

Why does that

entitle me to abuse?

It's terrific. I'm sorry.

- Don't apologize unless you mean it.

- I mean it.

- Really?

- Really.

Okay, good. I believe you.

So now let me tell you

a few things about the job.

- Well?

- I don't think so.

I know you.

When you say no, you mean yes.

Say you'll at least meet the doctor,

okay? He's the moneyman.

I'm not being pushy but where's

the harm seeing if you like each other?

- You're not being pushy?

- I'm just edging you

towards making a decision.

There's a difference.

There's a difference.

There's six ways of lookin'

at this. You could look

at this in 100 different ways.

I'm just sayin', let's take two ways

to look at it that way.

Now, listen, I didn't tell the doctor

about you being in prison.

I figure, why undermine his confidence.

He wants the best for his money.

Not that you're not the best.

But a layman might wonder

why you're all the time in jail.

Someday the schoolbooks

of my country will sing your praises.

I don't think we want

this nosed around, do we, Doctor?

I was taking poetic license.

Our literacy rate in Central Vatawi

is 99 percent.

The point is, my entire country

will be in your debt...

for returning the Sahara Stone

to its rightful people.

- This is him?

- I am the permanent representative...

- of Central Vatawi

at the United Nations.

- Some job of explaining you did.

You may call me "Doctor" Amusa,

Mr. Dortmunder.

You see, the countries

of Central and Outer Vatawi...

have been stealing the Sahara Stone

from one another for generations.

We like to think

it was originally ours.

The whole matter at present is

being studied by the United Nations.

Being a member of that body...

I, of course, have complete faith in

the wisdom of their eventual decision.

But as you Americans might say,

in case they blow it...

I'd feel more secure

with the jewel in my possession...

which is why,

naturally enough, we are here.

Mr. Dortmunder is not entirely

committed yet, Doctor.

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