The Hot Flashes Page #3

the Little Miss Burning Bush Pageant...

has been postponed due to lice.

Well, we're practicing Thursday

night if you change your mind.

What are you lookin' at, white boy?

You know I am too old

to play basketball.

Beth?

Hey, Roxie.

Hey.

I haven't seen you in ages.

What are you doin' around here?

I came here to ask you to be a

part of somethin' important.

At least, it's important to me.

Look, I'm real flattered

that you asked me,

but my basketball days are over.

Mmm. Mmm.

Wow. This is good.

That's Mary Jane Mud Cake.

Mmm. Come on, Roxie.

You were on a championship

team in high school.

As soon as you get back on the court,

it's all gonna come back to you.

You don't get it, Beth. I didn't

have these babies back then.

I think you look just fine.

Well, thank you,

but you're full of sh*t.

I do.

And I know that Tito still

thinks you're beautiful.

The only time Tito notices me...

is when I'm blockin' the TV set

when Jennifer Lopez is on.

He'd rather see her big ass

than mine.

You want some more coffee?

Oh, please.

All right.

So I assume you were a post

and Florine a guard.

Now, who was

your other startin' forward?

It was Clemmy Baker.

She's Clementine Winks now.

Coach Slaughter's ex-wife?

Oh, yeah. She's a lot

of people's ex-wife.

Clementine Winks, huh?

I did not recognize her

in the photo.

Well, that's because now she

looks like 40 miles of bad road.

Bad karma, if you ask me.

I think she looks pretty good.

Trust me, Beth. You don't

want her on your team.

Why not?

Let's put it this way.

When she hears the word

"hoedown," she hits the floor.

Okay.

I best be goin'.

Oh.

You didn't like the cake?

No, it was delicious.

I am just... I gotta

save room for dinner.

Oh. You got such

a nice figure, Beth.

Well, maybe us practicin' together,

gettin' in shape for the games...

would be a good way for you

to get your figure back.

I'm sorry, Beth.

I just can't.

Well, we are practicin'

Thursday night...

if you change your mind.

Basketball.

That's a great idea, raising

money for Tess's memory.

You know, she was the only one who

didn't turn on me in high school.

When my fourth marriage ended,

she showed up at my house

with a U-Haul to help me move.

And she was going through radiation

and chemo at the same time.

Bald as a baby's bottom.

Well, I had no idea.

Yeah.

She was really somethin'.

I hope this goes well for y'all.

Well, we want you

to be on the team.

I can't.

Why not?

Well, a certain high school

girls' basketball coach.

I heard it was messy.

Oh, honey, you don't know

the half of it.

That skank humiliated me

in divorce court.

Took the house and didn't have

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