The Hooligan Factory Page #2

was a legend. A face.

Look at me.

You know, I want to be someone.

Want to be part of something.

Okay, here's another one. Oi, mate!

F***ing brilliant.

Yeah, this has been fun and all, mate, but I

gotta chip back home and pick up me stuff.

Oh, Dan, mate, why don't you

stay round mine a couple of days,

just until you get back on your feet?

No, don't worry about me, mate. I'm sweet.

This time next week

I'll bell you from me penthouse.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, f***ing right, mate.

We'll have a proper party.

Birds, booze, the lot.

Oh, mustard, mate! Here we go.

Have a look. Oi, love!

Oh, f*** off, you pair of melts.

That's the oldest trick in the book.

Ooh!

Yeah, anyway, as I was saying, go get

your stuff and I'll meet you later on.

We can have a few bevvies.

Celebrate your independence.

On me. Fancy an ice cream?

- Yeah, go on then, mate.

- What flavour?

- Anything. Don't get lemon.

- All right.

Oh, my f***ing God!

It's her off the telly.

Oh, sh*t. Yeah, it is.

Time to go, 4737.

You're a free man today.

Baron!

You take care of yourself then, Dex.

Don't you be getting

in no more trouble now, you hear.

F*** off, screw.

Oh, f***, f***, f***!

Barry, it's happened again.

F***ing how many times? I'm on fire again!

F***ing burning!

Chop, chop. We're gonna nip through

Harry Brown's tunnel. It's quicker.

Yeah, hello.

F***. F***, f***, f***.

Karen! Karen!

You called me, babe? What's the matter?

Get our f***ing kids out of here.

Go round your mum's and don't come back

until I call you. All right?

Oh, sh*t! Quick, kids! Get your f***ing

coats on, we're going to your gran's!

For f***'s sake, not again!

I told you, "Never call my mobile."

I got kids, for f***'s sake.

You wanker!

But now they're out the way.

Let's do this.

Hola, my little Spanish prince.

Tickle my front bottom, mate.

What?

Oh, yeah.

I'm getting huge for you.

Pablo, I want you to f*** me

like you did in Torremolinos.

Do you remember, boy?

Baron!

Who the f*** is that?

It's Dex.

Who?

- It's Dex.

- Hold on a minute.

- Dexy boy.

- Baron!

Finally let you out, did they?

Oh, yeah, I'm out!

And I'm coming for you!

Oh, yeah. I think you'll find a

lot's changed since you went in.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

Your mob's a f***ing joke, son.

Oh, and I've got top firm now.

You're gonna get cut, Baron.

And it's gonna be me that does it.

F***ing hell.

You couldn't hit water

if you fell out a boat.

I'm gonna slit you open like an envelope.

You couldn't afford the postage.

Yeah, I can.

And I'll send it recorded delivery and all.

In that case,

I won't be here to sign for it.

F***! F***! F***,

f***, f***, f*** you, Baron!

F*** it!

- You sure about this, mate?

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