The Heyday of the Insensitive Bastards Page #3

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drink like a fish?

Mom just said you

should not drive

Amanda:
Mom said you

should not drive.

Amanda:
You know what, you are more

like the fish. Lisa: I am ignoring that

Amanda:
Come on. You are being a haddock.

Like a smoked haddock you know?

Lisa:
Ok I have been home

for like an hour-

can we just have a

normal conversation please?

Amanda:
Sorry

Lisa:
Oh!

Amanda:
Does anybody want

a muddy Mary?

With some leaves on top?

Crap.

Oh! You know what she should do?

We should go inside

and get a cognac

that is the perfect dusk drink!

Lisa:
Do you think you should

just slow down a little bit?

Amanda:
Why?

I am celebrating my sisters annual

abbreviated trip to the homeland

Lisa:
Okay - well the sun does not

go down for another three hours

Amanda:
Yeah, but if you get started

early, anything is possible

you of all people should know

that Lisa.

Amanda performing: The combined

IQ of a colony of ants

exceeds the intellect of most

us senators

Lisa:
My mother

Ophelia:
You wish to eat me!

Lisa:
One drink made her queen

Victoria

and three took her out of it

Sydney:
I was under the impression that

Amanda liked margaritas - loved margaritas

Lisa:
Counting his cock

what me and Amanda used to call

our stepfather self fondling

Sydney:
What are we going to do

with all these margaritas?

I was under the impression

that Amanda liked marga-

Ophelia:
What are you talking about?

We have heard you already.

Ophelia:
Go find your sister!

Sydney:
Sweetie, go see where

she is okay? Huh? Thank you.

Sydney:
What the hell would you

do with the rest of these?

Amanda:
An ant is attracted to

the genitals of all mammals

both male and female.

Sydney:
Do not point at me.

- my mother is not dead

what, what? I'm

ready with the glasses Ok-

Lisa:
Hey!

Lisa:
Oh my god - oh god -

come on

come here

Lisa:
Oh sh*t

Lisa:
Honey?

Lisa:
Seriously - you are acting and you

made me drag you all the way in here?

Amanda:

Stripped of its stinger -

a bee becomes nothing more

than a raisin with wings...

Lisa:
Did you ever notice that there are

no streetlights in this town that work?

You still work at that delivery

place?

Amanda:
Yes - yes. That is what I am doing.

No - actually - I quit that three years ago

do you know anything about - me.

What I am doing anything at all?

Lisa:
Okay - uhm - let us not

Amanda:
Okay - I work at a dock

and I manage a band

Lisa:
Have I heard of them?

Amanda:
Do you listen to

any decent bands?

Amanda:
I wanted to do some more artistic

stuff so I decided to become a monologuist

Lisa:
Is that like a comic?

Amanda:
No, it is like

uhm, performance art, you know?

Amanda:
So I would tell stories

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