The Heartbreak Kid: The Egg Toss Page #2

---

Cantrow! Did you hear that?

But seriously, Michael has been

the answer to all my prayers.

And quite frankly, he's the only guy

my father ever approved of.

And that's because he's

the first guy she ever went out with

who wasn't a total a**hole.

All right, all right, okay.

Look, thank you all for coming.

We're gonna have some fun

today, right?

Stop him, he's got my purse!

Somebody stop him!

Hey, stop! Hey, stop! Stop!

F*** off, man!

This has nothing to do with you!

Calm down, buddy, give me the purse.

Back off, man! I swear to God,

I'll cut your f***ing head off!

- Give me the...

- I will snap you!

No, man, that's mine. It's mine!

Hey, man, man, it's mine. It's mine!

It's mine!

Sh*t.

Sh*t!

Oh, God, are you okay?

No, it stings. He Maced me.

It's just my perfume.

Sh*t, I can't believe this!

I've got everything in there.

My credit card, my wallet.

Everything is in that bag.

My license, my keys,

my life.

Yeah, that guy, he's like a freak.

I mean, I just... I tried to stop him, but...

Sorry. I almost had him.

No, no, it's not your fault.

I should have, like, punched him

or something. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

It was really cool of you to get involved.

- Here. Let me help you with this stuff.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh. I'm sorry. I don't wanna...

I don't know what the protocol there is.

It's okay. I got it. No problem.

Okay. Nice undergarment there.

So, there you go.

So, you live around here?

Yes, I do. Yeah, I do.

I actually live a couple blocks down.

- Over by Bay City Sports?

- Bay City Sports? I...

Yeah, a big sports... Sort of sporting

goods emporium, over on Van Ness.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I know that.

- I actually own the place, so...

- Oh, cool.

- Yeah. Yeah, it's fun.

- That's great. Oh, this is me.

- That's you? Okay.

I don't have any money.

He took my wallet.

Wait a minute. Here. I got it.

Oh, no. I wasn't saying it to...

You've done enough. Really.

No. Here. Please. Please.

I got a five-spot. Here you go.

Go ahead. Take it. I got like hundreds

of dollars in the bank, so I'm good.

- I can't take it, then.

- No, I'm kidding. I do fine.

I mean, I'm not rich, I'm comfortable.

I'm good. Go ahead. Get on the thing.

- Got it.

- All right.

- Take it easy.

- Thank you.

All right.

Hey, what's your name?

Lila!

Lila, I'm Eddie! Eddie... Eddie Cantrow!

Okay!

Sh*t.

Oh, yeah. This is your girl, Eddie.

I've always said you can tell a lot

about a woman by her panties.

When have you ever said that?

I've said it like a mantra.

You just don't pay attention.

So, did you get her digits?

No, I didn't get her digits.

The girl had just gotten mugged.

I wasn't gonna hit on her.

Wait a second. She's hot, friendly,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes