
The Heart of the Deal
- Year:
- 2008
- 2 Views
- [Man]:
I love this town.It's a joke.
I love jokes.
For that matter...
my life's a joke.
Did you hear the one about
the rabbi, the producer,
and the studio executive
who walk into a bar?
? Opera ?
[ Knocking ]
[ Knocking ]
- Uncle Charlie!
Hi, it's me, Lionel!
I just got here now!
I took the bus!
- This is a bad time, Lionel.
- What?
- I'm not well.
- What?
Oh, Jesus.
A rabbi, an undertaker,
and my freaking nephew
walk into a bar!
- Hey! I tried to...
Did you know your
phone's out of order?
- Yeah, it's th
- Mom says hi. She's
worried about you.
She wants you to
call her. Could I--
- I'm not alone.
You know what I mean?
- Oh!
Sorry. Got it.
- Yeah, she's...
Come back later.
- I did it. I did whasaid,
Uncle Charlie.
- Great!
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah, it's about
Benjamin Disraeli
and the Tariff Laws of 1876.
- This is great.
- William Gladstone--
- Come back tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
Oh, OK.
Um, I can find a place.
A motel or...
- Good.
- What time?
- 5:
00.- OK, I hope you like it.
They got pretty vicious, so...
OK.
? Opera ?
[ Engine cuts out ]
- F*ck! F*ck! Motherfuck!
[ Engine sputtering ]
? Opera ?
Wait a second.
A rabbi, a producer,
and a recently-converted
walk into a bar.
[ Laughing ]
Now, that's funny.
Brad?
- Charlie, we have a--
- I just need 2 minutes.
- I'm going into a meeting.
- Two seconds?
- I'll see you in there.
- I was just talking about you.
I had lunch with...
- That's OK. You don't
have to think of a name.
I'm leaving the agency.
- Oh...
Charlie, that's bad news.
I hate hearing that.
- You'll get over it.
- Probably for the best.
We really haven't
scored for you.
I can't help feeling
it's my fault.
- I feel that way too.
Sign this for me, would you?
- What is it?
- It terminates our
contract as of today.
- Any projects we need to--
- There are no projects.
You've never got me a job.
- Yeah.
How you been?
- I'm good.
Well, suicidal.
My nephew interrupted that.
and he gave me this
Benjamin Disraeli script.
- Benjamin Disraeli?
- What happened to Tony Blair?
- You didn't hear?
- No! What?
- No, I'm just kidding you.
This was before Tony Blair.
I'm going to attach
Bobby Mason to it.
- Ah! Ha ha! OK!
You go get 'em!
Let me show you out.
- Brad?
- Yeah?
- You got something
green in your teeth.
- Hello there!
- Charlie Berns.
- Rabbi Gutterman.
Are you here for the
B'nai B'rith meeting?
- Actually, I'm here to
discuss business, Rabbi.
- Ah. Sit. Sit down.
- I'm making a movie
about Judaism.
- Judaism?
- Based on the life
of Benjamin Disraeli.
- Did you know that
Jews were not allowed
to sit in the House
- No, I didn't know that.
That's why we want to bring
someone like you on board.
As sort of a technical advisor.
- Technical advisor?
- Associate producer
would be the actual term.
- Well, I'm a busy man.
The congregation, I'm on
the Mayor's Youth Council...
I'm the Chairman of the
West Coast Symposium
on Humanistic Revisionism.
We talking above the line here?
- Absolutely.
- Who's directing?
- Hasn't been set.
- Who do you have
in mind for Disraeli?
- Well, in my wildest, let's be
bold, anyone you want wish list,
and this is where
you could help...
I'm thinking of
going against type.
- Robin Williams.
-You've reached Steven
Holly at Daily Variety.
Leave a message.
- Steven, it's
Charlie Berns calling.
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Citation
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"The Heart of the Deal" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 2 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_heart_of_the_deal_6541>.