The Hangover Part III Page #5

almost lost my dental license.

- What about the Chow, anything?

- Nothing.

Oh, look at this. He emailed me

like twenty minutes ago.

Alan, we've been sit...

Give me the phone, please.

What does it say?

Oh, wow. He wants to meet

Alan tonight at eight.

Just come alone.

Come alone where?

- A bus stop. In Tijuana.

- Tijuana is the bomb!

- Oh, f***!

- No, that's perfect.

It's like a three hours

drive form here.

Yeah, Stu. Try reading a map.

Yeah, Alan. Try reading,

anything, ever.

Yeah, Stu, try not having

such big horse teeth.

Alright, we need a plan.

They're meeting on a bus

bench in a public place.

So Alan needs to convince Chow to

go some place more private.

Some place where we

can sneak up on him,

drug him.

Like where?

I don't know, like an alley?

What about a movie theater?

F***, that's actually a great idea.

The lights go down.

We take the seats behind him, we

jab him and it's f***ing done.

I'll jab him if you want,

I've drugged people before.

Yeah. Us.

No offense, Alan, but we're not

letting you handle any drugs.

You kill someone.

Oh, please. I'm an expert.

Remember the marshmallows

in Thailand- Yeah.

I made it so you could eat at least

three before hitting a fatal dose.

Wait.

So you're saying I would

have died if I'd had four?

Nobody eats four

marshmallows, Stu!

That insane theory is the

only reason I'm still alive?

Yes! And you're welcome,

by the way.

Don't say, "you're welcome",

for almost killing me.

- Fine.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Goddammit!

Oh, God.

You know, you were right.

About what?

That place in Arizona. It's

not gonna help him.

There's no facility that

can fix this guy.

We're gonna spend the

rest of our lives dealing...

...with him because

we're all he has now.

Do you realize that?

We're it.

Oh, sh*t. Check it out.

Is that Chow?

Hey, fat stuff.

- Fat stuff?

- Atataa. That's cool, eyes forward.

- Yeah, okay.

- Anyone follow you?

No, I don't think so.

Good, good. Gotta keep

low profile right now.

Chow wanted man.

Can't trust anyone.

Quick, give me some sugar.

Come on, come on,

come on.

What the fuckDid

he just kiss him?

Listen, I'm in bit of pickle, Alan

I need a friend.

Well, I'm your friend, Leslie.

Exactly, that's why I

called you down here.

You're the only person I can trust

in this sh*t hole of a life.

Well, that's not true. Stu

and Phil are your friends.

Oh, reallyThat's interesting.

Where are they?

- Around.

- Around where?

I do not know.

Ah, mother f***er! I told

you to come alone!

- Leslie!

- Sh*t!

- What happened?

- Is he leaving?

Come back, we'll talk some more!

I'll give you another kiss!

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