The Hangover Page #2

EXT. LAS VEGAS -- MAGIC HOUR

As the last rays of sun fade, the Cadillac crests the final hill to reveal LAS VEGAS in all its illuminated splendor...

EXT. LAS VEGAS BLVD. -- SUNSET

The Caddy rolls down the famed Strip. We are again reminded of the absurd scale of Las Vegas. The 5,000 room hotels, the eight lane roads, the 60 foot billboards...

EXT. MANDALAY BAY -- NIGHT

The Caddy rolls up to the Mandalay Bay. The guys hop out, exhilarated. Vick throws the key to the VALET...

INT. MANDALAY BAY -- NIGHT

The guys enter the glittering casino four men-wide, all smiling, all exuding vibe. Passing WOMEN sneak glances. Vick slides a drink off a nearby waitress’s tray as they make for

THE FRONT DESK:

A perfectly pressed LEBANESE MAN waits behind the front desk. Vick strides up, smiling, sunglasses still on.

FRONT DESK MAN Welcome to the Mandalay Bay.

VICK:

Checking in. Lennon comma Victor.

The man types into his computer.

FRONT DESK MAN:

Yes, we have you down for a one

night stay in an economy suite--

Vick glances at the man’s nametag; it reads “ATASHIR.”

VICK:

Hold it right there, Atashir. This

is my best friend from childhood, Douglas Billings. In two days, he is to marry a woman of great beauty and strong teeth, do you understand? A woman of gigantic bosoms who will give him many, many sons...

Atashir looks confused. Alan looks embarrassed.

6.

VICK (CONT'D)

My two other childhood friends have

travelled great distances, across many deserts, to be here. This isn’t a night in a hotel for us, Atashir: this is a family reunion. Perhaps you too have family situated great distances away, in a foreign country with much sand?

Atashir looks like, sort of...? Vick reaches over the counter and touches his arm, simpatico.

VICK (CONT'D)

Then I have but one question for

you, friend:
if they came to town, would you put them in an economy suite?

ATASHIR No, sir.

VICK:

Well, then. I think one of us needs

to get back on his little computer and find us a suitable room.

Atashir frowns...but types away at his computer.

ATASHIR:

All the deluxe rooms are taken. The

Dean Martin suite is available, but I’d have to ask my--

VICK:

Dean-o will be fine. Send up a case

of Cristal, two bottles of Patron, four ahi sandwiches, and a crate of skinless mangos...

Vick turns to the guys:

VICK (CONT'D) You guys want anything?

The guys stammer, too stunned to speak.

VICK (CONT'D)

And have Jean-Marie cook up a dozen

of those duck skewers I like so well. He knows the ones.

ATASHIR:

And how would you like to pay?

7.

VICK American Express.

Atashir looks up to accept the card. After a beat, Vick turns to Alan:

VICK (CONT'D) Dude, give him your AmEx.

ALAN What?

VICK:

Don’t worry, we’ll hit you later.

Alan stammers.

VICK (CONT’D)

Dude, come on, I paid for gas. Stop

being such a Jew.

Alan stammers some more -- then angrily pulls out his card.

CUT TO:

INT. THE DEAN MARTIN SUITE -- NIGHT

The guys enter the room, jostling; Stu has Doug in a headlock. Then they freeze: the Dean Martin Suite is massive, complete with lounge area, two flat screen TVs, full bar and multiple bedrooms. The guys just gape.

STU:

This is bigger than my house.

Vick blows past them, totally unfazed.

VICK:

Get dressed, ladies. We’re wheels

up in ten.

Stu and Doug race off to find their bedrooms, leaving Alan standing alone, just staring at the decadent suite.

ALAN:

I am so not getting paid back.

INT. DEAN MARTIN SUITE -- MASTER BEDROOM -- NIGHT

Vick enters the bedroom, drops his bag, and starts changing his shirt -- when his cell phone RINGS. He answers.

VICK This is Vick.

8.

Vick listens -- then grows a bit panicked:

VICK (CONT'D)

He’s in Vegas?! You’re kidding me!

(wincing)

All right, I’ll get it. All right. All right--!

When Stu walks past, Vick turns away and covers the phone, trying to keep the call confidential:

VICK (CONT’D)

I said all right, dude! How many more times you want me to say all right?!

(beat)

All right. All right.

Vick hangs up, looking uncharacteristically stressed... INT. THE DEAN MARTIN SUITE -- BATHROOM -- SAME

Doug brushes his teeth while, at the next sink over, Alan selects a facial wash from his highly organized toiletries kit and begins washing his face.

ALAN:

So, you ready for Sunday?

DOUG:

Yeah. I thought I’d be nervous, but

I’m actually just really psyched. Alan nods, impressed.

ALAN:

Tracy’s dad still hate you?

DOUG Oh yeah.

ALAN:

Any closer to figuring out why?

DOUG:

Enh, I think he wanted more for his

girl. I mean, I’m a teacher who makes 45 grand a year, and he’s a titan of industry who makes 45 grand a day, you know? I sort of get it...

(beat, brushing teeth)

Also, I’m banging his daughter. I’m not sure you ever get past that.

9.

Alan smiles, yeah, there’s that. Doug spits out his paste.

DOUG (CONT'D) You got floss?

Alan gestures towards his toiletries kit. Doug picks it up, starts looking for the floss. Then Alan remembers something -- but it’s too late. Doug has found the RING BOX inside Alan’s kit, and opened it to reveal a HUGE DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING.

DOUG (CONT'D) Holy Christ!

Alan quickly reaches for the ring--

ALAN:

Ahhh yeah, I wasn’t going to tell

anyone about that--

Just then, Stu wanders in, wearing only his COLORADO STATE BOXER SHORTS. His gut is sizable.

STU:

Anyone got any nipple lube--?

(seeing ring)

Jesus would you look at the size of that thing?!

Stu grabs the ring from Doug.

DOUG:

It’s Alan’s. For Becky.

STU:

Jesus, who made this thing? Diddy?

ALAN (clutching for ring)

Actually, I-I was trying to keep it a secret, so--

Just then Vick blows in, singing, effeminate:

VICK:

Boy Party in the bathrooooom--!

(sees ring, snags it) Miner’s cut, 2.6 Carats, slight pink tint, street value: 26, 27K.

Vick studies it in the light. Alan just rubs his temples.

STU:

Dude, it’s for Becky! Alan’s

finally going to propose!

10.

VICK:

Well gosh-golly, Alan Mervish, good

for you! Where’d you get the ring?

ALAN:

Oh, it’s a family heirloom. My

grandmother smuggled it through the Holocaust, actually. I was going to propose to Beck this weekend.

Doug throws his arm around Alan, happy for him.

DOUG:

Well:
now we have two things to

celebrate!

TITLE CARD:
“FRIDAY, 6:10 PM”

EXT. MANDALAY BAY ROOFTOP -- NIGHT

CUT TO:

The guys, dressed to the nines, open the steel rooftop door and file out onto the flat tar roof of the Mandalay Bay; Vick is carrying a bottle of Patron and four hotel glasses.

Bringing up the rear, Alan slides a wood block between the door and the frame so they aren’t locked up here.

The guys step out onto the dark, windy roof and take in the stunning panorama...the Strip...the mountains...the countless stars... It’s breathtaking.

STU:

Thish is so great! I love you guys!

VICK:

Check it out, Stu’s already wasted.

Vick starts refilling everyone’s glasses.

ALAN:

We’ve only had two shots, man!

DOUG:

Yeah, what happened, Stuey?! You

used to be able to drink us all under the table!

STU:

Dude, I’m a dad! I don’t have time

to get plastered anymore! It blows! (quickly)

Am I a bad dad for saying that?

11.

DOUG What? No!

STU:

Because my dad was a bad dad.

DOUG:

(patting his shoulder)

That’s true, Stuey, but you’re different. We’ve talked about this.

Stu just stares at the guys, glassy-eyed. Beat.

STU:

Have I showed you guys pictures of

my kids yet--?

ALAN & DOUG & VICK

YES!

Doug laughs and raises his glass for a toast, heartfelt:

DOUG:

Little toast:
to Tracy, the

coolest, kindest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I can’t believe she let me come this weekend -- much less agreed to spend the rest of her life with me. I think both will prove to be massive errors of judgement on her part.

The guys chuckle, hear-hear.

DOUG (CONT’D)

And to being here, with my best

friends in the world. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

The guys raise their glasses, touched.

DOUG (CONT'D)

That said, let's not get too stupid

tonight, okay? I’m getting married in 36 hours.

ALAN & STU & VICK

No, no. / We’ll be good. / Totally,

dude.

Doug lowers his glass, laughing, completely unconvinced.

12.

DOUG:

I’m serious, dudes! Nothing above

the neck -- no piercings, no weird haircuts, no facial tattoos. I gotta look decent on Sunday.

VICK:

Jesus, what do you take us for?

DOUG:

Vick:
you shaved Alan’s eyebrows

off the night before graduation!

STU:

Oh yeah! That was hilarious! And

remember when I blacked out at Homecoming and you wrote on my face with permanent marker?! That was awesome! What’d you write again?

ALAN & DOUG & VICK “Respect me!”

They all laugh. Stu throws his arm around Doug, nostalgic.

STU:

Ahh, good times, man. Good times...

VICK:

We’ll be good tonight, Doug.

ALAN:

Seriously, man, we’re your friends.

STU:

Yeah, we’ve totally grown up since

then.

Doug looks at them, highly dubious, then hoists his glass.

13.

DOUG:

Well then...to a night we’ll never

forget.

They CLINK glasses, shoot their shots, and

THE NEXT MORNING

Shafts of white desert sunlight pour into

SMASH CUT TO:

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