The Great Muppet Caper Page #4

I brought my je ne sais quoi

and my portfolio...

all the way here to London

to see you...

the one and only Lady Holiday.

- May I come in?

- Absolutely not.

- May I show you my portfolio?

- No.

Good. Here.

You may open it.

This is me reeking grandeur.

Being aloof.

Being demure.

Daring.

- Interesting range of emotions.

- You think so?

As you can see from this small sampling,

modeling is my life.

It is my destiny.

I shall accept nothing less.

I can offer you a job

as a receptionist.

I'll take it!

Thank you!

You won't be sorry, I promise.

I can type.

I can take shorthand.

I can make coffee.

- I can do it all!

- Sit!

I can sit.

I'm very good at sitting.

Are you quite under control?

I'll be lunching

with my brother Nicky.

He's second in command here,

and he's an irresponsible parasite.

But I had to bring him

into the business...

because he squandered

his half of the inheritance...

and he has no prospects.

Not that he's grateful. He still

gambles and incurs bad debts...

uses my charge accounts, eats my food

and borrows my cars without permission.

He's not to be trusted.

I wouldn't put it past him

to try to steal...

my most valuable and largest jewel,

the fabulous Baseball Diamond.

And I don't know why his bow ties

are always crooked.

Still, in all, he is my brother.

Why are you telling me all this?

It's plot exposition.

It has to go somewhere.

Anyway, I want you to answer

the telephone while I'm gone...

and straighten up the office.

Consider it done.

Everything's under control.

Not to sweat.

Carry on.

I'll be back in an hour.

Oh, boy!

I am going to be a famous model!

I'm so happy for me!

Miss Piggy, you are on your way.

Where does Lady Holiday get off

calling me an ostrich?

We'll get even with Lady Holiday

tonight when we steal her necklace.

What will you wear

for the robbery?

Quiet.

Hi. Hello.

Hubba-hubba.

Excuse me.

Where's Lady Holiday's office?

- Around the corner to the left.

- Thank you.

Did you just give directions

to a frog?

- I guess I did.

- Smile.

Is that a new photographer?

I think I'm stuck.

Pull.

- Gonzo, are you okay?

- Oh, sure. It was just my nose.

You guys stay here.

I'll find Lady Holiday.

Yes, sir.

Get your nose in here.

It's really fun.

Mr. Holiday, did you order

a gross of flowered socks?

Oh, what an honor!

You're all so wonderful.

Thank you for choosing moi

as model of the year.

I never dreamed

when I first began in this business...

that I would reach such lofty heights.

- Thank you.

- Excuse me.

So what do you think about the drapes?

Personally, I'd rather see shutters.

Yes.

And on this wall here, I--

Lady Holiday?

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote