The Golden Calf Page #2

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Don't be a child! What occurred

is not even an episode but just a mere incident.

A gentlemen in search of a ten-spot.

And what sort of a profession it is.

A son of Lieutenant Schmidt!

I'll grant you one year, All right two!

Then your auburn locks will be noticed

and you'll be beaten every time.

What am I to do then?

How am I to find my daily bread?

You must think.

I, for example, am fed by ideas.

Hey, let's ride!

The taxi is free! Please take a seat!

Fare is reduced by 10-12%

Don't want? OK, then. You will be sorry!

Bear in mind that for every vitamin you receive

I shall demand of you a number of minor services.

I see that you are in love with money

for its own sake.

Tell me, what sum would appeal to you?

- Five thousand.

- A month?

A year.

In that case, our ways part right here.

I need 500 thousand, and, if possible,

immediately and not in installments.

Wouldn't you take it in installments?

I shouldn't mind taking it in installments,..

...but I need it all immediately.

Why do you need so much money?

As a matter of fact, I need more.

I want to go away, Comrade Shura,..

...very far away,..

...to Rio de Janeiro.

Have you relatives there?

Why? Do I look like a man

who could have relatives?

I have no kinsmen,

I'm all alone in the world.

I had a father once who was a Turkish subject,

but even he passed on in horrible convulsions.

Ever since I was a child

I've wanted to go to Rio de Janeiro.

I see.

You, of course, are not aware

that such a city exists.

This is a clipping from Soviet Encyclopedia.

See what it says here about Rio de Janeiro.

Population 1 360 000

...at the large bay in the Ocean...

...in the wealth of stores

and the grandeur of buildings...

...its main streets rival

those of the largest cities of the world.

Can you imagine that, Shura?

Rival!

Mulattoes, millionaires, export coffee!

A Charleston entitled 'My Girl Has A Little Thing'...

But what's the use of talking?

One and a half million people,

and all of them to a man in white trousers.

- But where will you get 500 thousand?

Wherever you like.

Show me a rich man

and I'll take his money away from him.

What!

Murder?

Do you know, Shura,

You are becoming sillier before my very eyes.

Note this:
Ostap Bender never killed anyone.

He has been killed. That happened.

But he himself is pure before the law.

I'm no cherub, of course.

I have no wings.

But I respect the Criminal Code.

This is my weakness.

But how do you propose

to take the money away?

That's not the point.

I personally have 400 comparatively

honest means of expropriation.

The point is that nowadays rich people

are difficult to find.

And yet they exist!

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