
The Ghastly Love of Johnny X
Good morning, Judge.
Jonathan Xavier.
accused of low crimes
such as theft
and civil disobedience.
What have you to say
for yourself?
Mr. Xavier,
you've been given full bounty
of our society's benefits,
yet you choose to flaunt
your disrespect
for everything decent
by means of repeated
transgressions against us.
All we ask of our citizens
is a modest conformity,
but even that seems
to be too much for you
and your misguided followers.
So now you're going to have
to listen to my verdict.
Do your worst, Counselor.
I'm counting on it.
In as much as you insist
on being an outsider
and laughing at
the rules and traditions
of our advanced civilization,
I am exiling
you to a place
which has no adherence
to either.
Observe.
Under your desks, children!
Yeah?
Well, I don't care!
You can end me to any pus-y,
scab-covered boil you want.
At least
I'll be going places.
I'm the guy your parents hate!
Young man, do you really
wish to become that?
Undisciplined, irreverent...
Tasteless!
I'd like to advise you to choose
your next words carefully,
because this may
be your last chance
to find grace among
your own people.
Oh, yeah, baby.
What is this thing
he's got?
Guard!
You little monster!
Jonathan Xavier...
An unselfish act will
bring you home.
Be wise,
for what it's worth.
Until that time,
I have no choice but
to sentence you...
...to Earth!
She's close.
Mmmm.
I can almost
taste her.
Let's fade.
Woo!
We surrender, we surrender!
I'd like to say a word
about Chesterfields.
Chesterfields are
milder-smoking, better-tasting
and cooler.
See "Beatnik Barbecue"
starring screen sensation Robin Wray.
Here you go, baby.
It's a gasper.
We interrupt this program
to bring you a late-breaking
news bulletin.
The southwest's Rockin'
Shamrock, Mickey O'Flynn,
"The Man with the Grin,"
is missing.
A search of O'Flynn's Arizona
mansion yielded no clues.
O'Flynn was
last seen rehearsing
for his first public appearance
in several years.
Show producer King Clayton who
lured the reckless recluse
back into the limelight for a
concert scheduled this weekend,
admits that the rootin',
tootin', shootin' star
failed to
show up for a rehearsal.
What can I say?
The rootin', tootin', shootin'
star failed to show up
for a rehearsal.
O'Flynn's following at the
height of his success
surpassed all but a few in
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
But even after the bright
lights dimmed,
O'Flynn remained
loyal to his fans.
If you or anyone you know is in
possession of any information
that may lead to a
resolution to this crisis,
please contact your
local authorities.
And now this...
You're a star, Snooky!
Yeah, well, they're not exactly
lining up for autographs.
Let's just keep it that way.
What can I get you?
Make it cold and wet,
handsome.
A pop?
With a twist
of lime.
Chip.
My name is Bliss.
Repeat it.
Bliss.
That's nice.
I like the way
you say that.
Let's try another one.
You see that desert?
Yeah, I see it.
You know what's sitting
out there?
No, what?
Lizards.
Lizards?
That's right.
A whole
bunch of lizards.
Do you know what those
lizards are doing?
They're looking for me,
that's what they're doing.
And you know why?
They want to lick me.
Lick you?
You mean...
Doesn't matter.
All that does matter is
you're no lizard,
and that you
don't remind me of him.
"Him."
Him?
Johnny X.
Oh, him.
My boyfriend.
Oh... him.
I've been in that Godforsaken
desert for 40 days and 40 nights
without so much as a Popsicle
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"The Ghastly Love of Johnny X" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ghastly_love_of_johnny_x_20295>.