The Gamers: Dorkness Rising Page #2

I asked 15 people..

..all regulars. Apparently we have a reputation!

What did I tell you? You make one eleven year old cry and they stop bugging you.

We still need another player!

I have taken care of it

Now...this is a mid-level campaign so we're starting at ninth level.

Here's Joanna's character.

What are you doing?

I made a character for you.

I wanna play my own character.

I know...that's why I made you one.

You think I can't make my own character?

Look...it's nothing personal.

You are going to be a fighter; there are some requirements you have to meet.

Like what?

A fighter has to be the strongest guy in the party.

Has to have a high armor class..

...and hitpoints out of the ass.

And that is what I made for you.

Let me see that!

Bikini mail?

Mmm...

What the hell is bikini mail?

Only the best armor you're allowed to wear.

There's a picture of it right here.

That looks like a ......

She fights with a broadsword?

"broad" sword

I get it. Kevin help me out here.

Kevin?

Wait..., your name is Kevin?

You have a first name?

Guys, if Joanna made a character she's gets to play it.

I agree with you on principle.. Kevin...

But she is new and I don't want her to die because she is inexperienced.

What makes you think that I'm gonna die?

History.

New guy always dies.

That is so true...

Hey you remember that one time those halfling pirates made him...

Shut up

Or the time that those gnome shopkeepers ambushed...

Shut up!

Or that asthmathic six year old princess...

SHUT UP!!

I flipped through that handbook....I got the jist of it...it doesn't seem that hard.

Okay....let's see your character then.

What's your strength bonus?

She doesn't have one.

Her highest stat is her intelligence

I've put other bonuses in dexterity and charisma.

Charisma?

WIIIIIIIIIII...

No strength bonus...

No constitution bonus...

How many hitpoints does she have?

Ah..let me see...45.

Ah...

A 9th level fighter with 45 hitpoints.

She's really gonna protect the party.

I put her other feats in speed and precision.

That's why intelligence is more important than strength.

It would be if you were a wizard. But you're not.

You're a fighter....a fighter with a giant "kill me" sign on her back.

With her charisma she should be able to talk her way out of most fights.

What? Negotiation isn't your style?

Not exactly, no.

Our phylosophy is: "beat it until it stops moving"

...and then shoot it...

...and then step on its cadaver.

Calm down, Gary.

If you play this character you are going to die.

I spent 2 hours on this character and I'm gonna play her, okay?

Ok.

Ok.

And when you die you can play bikini babe.

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