The Game Plan Page #3

She's on her way to Africa.

What kind of a selfish,

self-centered person dumps their kid...

She's on a water sanitation project

bringing fresh drinking water

to the drought-ravaged children

of the Sudan.

If I had a dime

for every time I heard that one.

So on her way to save the world,

your mom just suddenly decided

to leave you here?

I begged her. I said,

"Well, why don't I stay with my father?"

And she said, "Well, baby, he doesn't

know about you yet. " And I said...

I get it. I get it.

So, who else can you stay with?

I got it. I got it. I'm a genius.

Sara has a sister.

Goombah, Grip, Grime... Carmen!

- Karen.

- Karen. What about her?

She's...

She's dead.

Oh, that's convenient.

What?

How do we get in touch

with your mom?

- Her cell won't work in Kassala.

- Email?

They don't have Internet there.

How did you get here again?

We flew to Boston together,

and then she put me in a car.

And the car just magically

dropped you off at some man's house?

- Not some man. My father.

- So you say.

- Want a paternity test?

- Yes. That's a great idea.

Let's do that. No problem.

I don't like needles.

So if they don't take blood, no problem.

Not in the middle of negotiating

our Fanny's deal, it's not.

These things never stay quiet,

trust me.

If she does turn out to be yours,

you'll look like a guy

who had a kid and ditched her

and you can

kiss your mega-bucks goodbye.

- Stella.

- Hmm.

We don't even look alike.

Oh, no. Not at all.

- Thanks a lot for the heads up, Larry.

- Hey, I told you she was cute.

I'm late.

Let's go. No huddle.

- No back seat.

- So what? Get in the car.

If you get in an accident,

the air bag will hurt me.

Oh, come on, I don't have time

for the safety lesson, please!

Come here.

So late.

I've got four weeks

to make up for eight years,

so let's get started, shall we?

I'm going to ask you some questions

and you're going to give me

some answers, okay?

Now, for example,

if you asked me what my favorite thing

to do was, I would say ballet.

So what's your favorite thing to do?

That's easy. Play football.

Football.

Come on!

If you could only save one thing

in a fire, what would it be?

My Heisman.

No, wait... I know.

My limited edition

Joe Kingman sneakers.

Come on, horseradish.

No more questions.

Just one more question.

What's the best thing

that's ever happened to you?

Listen, I got a question for you.

Why didn't your mom

just bring you here herself?

Want a cookie?

No, I don't want a cookie.

Stop trying to change the subject.

But you said you were hungry.

- And I made them special for you.

- Fine, fine.

- Now, about your mom.

- I told you, it was last-minute.

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