The Five-Year Engagement Page #3

(VIOLET GIGGLES)

Hello.

VIOLET:
Gideon.

TOM:
Oh, hi.

I just wanted to say

congratulations to both of you.

I really couldn't have picked a better

choice for my favorite ex-girlfriend.

Aw! Thank you

very much.

I didn't know that you

were going to be here.

Uh... Yeah. Your mom said I could

come, so I just popped over.

From London,

through Atlanta.

And Houston.

Right. I am going

to go to the loo and...

I think you literally just

went to the bathroom.

Mmm... Didn't. No.

How was Afghanistan?

It was harrowing.

I was there

for the capture of

Mullah Abdul Akhtud El Sayed

Ahmed Shafeer Salaheen.

Amazing.

Um... Violet is

a fantastic woman.

She is.

How long have you guys

been together?

Just...

Just over a year.

We were together for

four and a half years.

You think after four years you're gonna be

spending the rest of your life together.

Now you get her, even though you're

still just in the first quarter.

Do you want me to get you a

glass of wine or something?

No.

Oh! Good timing.

Gideon, stop crying.

This is an emotional

moment for me.

No, this is an emotional

moment for Tom and I.

You are a guest at

our emotional moment.

Congratulations.

Okay. All right.

(INHALING DEEPLY)

Do not smell me, Gideon.

(LAUGHING) That is awful!

You like that one?

I hate all of them.

Om

(LAUGHING)

VIOLET:
I want to get that job

offer in the mail from Berkeley

and become

a psychology professor.

Work with brilliant people and

just dig in for the next 40 years.

And I want to open

my own restaurant

with a private room in the

back just for you and me.

And our 20 kids.

And all of our little pigs. Hmm.

Don't worry, we'll get some breakfast in a bit.

You'll feel better.

Not eggs.

Oh! Alex!

VIOLET:
Hey.

TOM:
Hey.

Hey

Yo!

I didn't think you were

going to stay the night.

Yeah, I didn't want to drive

home last night in my condition.

So, I just

got myself a room.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

Whoa, Suz!

VIOLET:
Suzie.

Hey, Suz.

Oh. Hi.

TOM:
Come join the fun.

Oh. Hey.

Hey. Yeah.

Hello.

You know Suzie.

Your sister.

(GASPING)

(WHISPERING)

Shut the f*** up.

Guess what I really

did last night?

I'll give you

Oh, my God!

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Audrey.

I'm the new hostess.

Audrey? Oh, cool, I'm Tom.

Nice to meet you, Tom.

Nice to meet you.

I'm the sous-chef here.

How is it going today?

Good. How are you?

Okay, I'm great. Yeah, it's

nice to have you aboard.

Thank you.

Yeah.

You'll make a great

part of the team.

He's engaged.

How's your fiance doing?

I-m

Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, also.

What the f*** was that?

What are you doing? You're

flirting with the help.

I was not flirting, okay?

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