The Employer Page #2

How's your head?

Still hurts.

Yeah, it was bleeding before,

but Billie, she bandaged it up.

Thank you.

How did you get all banged up?

Last night, I got jumped by like

five guys who came to my house.

I fought back, hard.

Got a few good hits in, and then they pinned

me down and they put a rag over my mouth.

Did you recognize any of them?

No, no, I just assumed it was some

random thugs trying to rob my house.

Maybe that's it. Maybe we were

all just chosen at random.

I had a job interview today, too. Maybe when

I don't show, they'll know something's wrong.

Who's the job with?

A company I'm sure you've

never heard of.

Try me.

Carcharias Corporation.

Oh, my God.

I'm up for a job there, too.

Yeah, so am I. I was supposed

to have my third interview today.

Get the f*** out of here.

You, too?

I guess we found our connection.

You know, I can see an egghead like

you being up for a job like that...

but you're not telling me the rest

of you are Carcharias material?

Yes, that's exactly

what we're telling you.

So what are your qualifications?

I'm co-owner of a company that

doubled their profits every quarter...

for three years before they

went public. What about you?

I've been a partner in a consulting

firm for the past five years.

I've owned my own consulting

firm for seven.

Oh, you got time in between

weight lifting events for that?

Whoa, hey.

Whoa.

Let's get this straight, okay?

I work out to stay in shape.

That's it.

So stop f***ing with me!

No problem.

Or I will kick your ass.

Yeah, I got it.

So how about you?

Yeah, I'll kick your ass, too.

I meant, why are you

up for the job?

I don't know. Maybe because

I wrote my thesis on Carcharias.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

At least now I know

who I'm up against.

I'm the least qualified person

here.

I mean, I've been unemployed

for the last six months...

I sent them my resume and they

called me in for an interview.

But, I don't know.

They told me that I was exactly

what they were looking for.

Now I don't know what to think.

Okay, so we're all applying

for the same job.

But what does that mean?

Did you hear that?

Where's that coming from?

Does someone have a phone?

It's up there.

Why is there a phone

in the vent?

Who cares? If we can get it,

we can call for help.

Here, James, boost me up.

How?

Just kneel down, and then I'm

going to get up on your knees.

Let me guess,

cheerleader in college?

High school.

I hate cheerleaders.

It's screwed shut.

Here. Use this to try

to loosen the screws.

Why do you have that?

I always keep one hidden.

Just in case.

Ding, ding, ding.

Brains and brawn.

He's got the whole package.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes