The Emperor Waltz Page #3

gonna rust in your fish pond.

Careful!

It might explode.

I wish it would.

It cannot.

The powder's all wet.

It must be some new model

with a cannon attached.

You must be an old windbag

with a blabbermouth attached.

I never saw such a bunch

of ignoramuses. Here, Buttons,

we'll show 'em the trademark.

Does that mean anything to you?

It doesn't, hey?

Well, it's an invention.

A talking machine.

A new kind of American

thingamabob. Watch this.

We have a record, we put it

on the machine thus.

We start the works

in this manner. Drop

the needle in that fashion.

[Garbled Song]

[Stops]

Something wrong here.

What do you... What's going on?

This is not

standard equipment.

With Your Majesty's permission,

Your Majesty may come out now.

About time. I was beginning

to feel like a corkscrew.

What was it this time?

A false alarm,

Your Majesty.

An American salesman

trying to force his way in.

A most persistent breed,

these Americans.

One threw himself

in front of my carriage.

He was selling brushes.

Wanted me to buy two

for my whiskers.

Also a clothes brush,

shoe brush, nail brush

and a tooth brush.

Incredible.

We finally bought a mop

and had him deported.

Where were we now?

The dogs, Your Majesty.

The final arrangements.

Oh, yes. Louis and I

will be at my hunting lodge

in the Tyrol...

for the next three weeks.

I want you to come

and stay with me

and bring Scheherazade.

We are most honored,

Your Majesty.

I think the happy couple...

will find the mountain air

quite invigorating.

As to transportation,

have you any objections

to the horseless carriage?

None whatever, Your Majesty.

Then I'll send my automobile

to bring you up next Tuesday.

Good-bye, Baron.

Good-bye, my dearJohanna.

May I personally

guarantee Your Majesty

a most glorious litter?

Thank you.

I shall see you

in the mountains.

Everybody return

to his quarters.

No tradesperson

is permitted in the palace.

You will pack that

squalling abomination

and leave at once!

Out! Out! Out!

Oh, no, I don't.

I'm gonna wait 'til it dries

and show it to the old boy,

as per

my appointment!

To whom will you show it?

To the Emperor.

If you play ball,

I won't tell him what a monkey

You made out of yourself.

You will never see

the Emperor.

I'd protect His Majesty

from that object as I'd

protect him from a bomb.

You listen to me, chubby.

I didn't come to Austria

to run into that kind of guff.

I came here to put that machine

over and I'm gonna.

I'm gonna sell 5,000,

10,000, 20,000.

Not in Austria,

I assure you.

We do not take to cheap,

blatant innovations.

You're a bunch of

dusty old aunties,

scared of anything new.

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