
The Edge of Seventeen
Shh!
Look, I don't wanna take up
a ton of your time...
But I'm gonna kill myself.
I just thought that someone should know.
I don't know how this works.
I'm probably gonna jump off an
overpass in front of a semi, so...
Or a u-haul. Not a bus. I'm not gonna
be a dick and make people watch.
But it has to be big. It's
gotta be so big that it just...
'Cause if it just maims me and I'm
like... well, how's that good for anyone?
Then I gotta find a
nurse to smother me.
How am I gonna get across
"smothering" if I'm...
We don't need to get
caught up in the minutia.
I just thought that an adult...
you should know.
Wow. This is, uh,
a lot to take in, Nadine.
I... I wish I knew
what to say.
Well, I was actually just drafting
my own suicide note just now.
"Dear everybody.
As some of you know,
I have 32 fleeting minutes of happiness
which has been eaten up
again and again
by the same...
Especially
badly dressed student,
and I finally thought,
you know what?
the dark, empty nothingness.
I really would.
It sounds... relaxing.
Have a nice life
without me, fuckers."
You are so gonna get fired
when I actually do it.
Well, not for sure,
but I can dream.
Let me start from the beginning.
Around second grade
I had a realization.
There are two types
of people in this world.
The people who radiate confidence
and naturally excel at life...
Yes! Yes!
And the people who hope all those
people die in a big explosion.
All right,
knock 'em dead, kiddo.
My brother Darian was a winner from
day one and had about a million fans.
Bye.
His biggest one... my mother.
- Bye, sweetheart.
Oh, check it out.
Okay, boss lady,
see you tonight.
Nadine, we're not
doing this again.
You promised.
Now get out of the car.
Well, that's it.
weren't exactly peas in a pod.
Oh. No.
And the only one who could
handle either of us... was dad.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Dad had
a nearly impossible task...
Having to manage us both.
All right now,
I know kids can be mean.
But if you get a chance,
fart into their backpacks.
I wish you were small.
Then I'd at least have
one person to have lunch with.
Instead, the most attention I got
at school was from these three.
Nobody likes you. You suck
and you're gonna get aids.
Over here! Run!
My childhood had become
and I couldn't take one more second of this
intolerable, unlivable nightmare of a...
Excuse me.
And then, out of the clear blue,
an angel appeared.
Can you move, please?
She was dressed like
a small, elderly gentleman.
And her breath smelled
of sweetarts.
You want to hold him?
But don't squash him.
Hi, guy.
If you want, you can be
his other mom with me.
Really?
and take such good care of you.
I accidentally suffocated him two
But I had finally made
my first friend.
never thought we'd say out loud.
Once, my grandpa's pajama flap
accidentally came open
and I saw his wiener
and got real sad.
My mom has to take medicine or she'll
get upset and buy too much at the mall.
It's true.
It turned out Krista's life
wasn't perfect either.
I'm walking away, okay? What am I, your
mother? Am I supposed to babysit...
But we got each other through.
Play with this.
We could play with
Mrs. penguin. Hee hee.
For the next few years,
and then, some extremely
fucked-up shit happened.
Oh, my god.
I knew it.
It's really just the hair.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"The Edge of Seventeen" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 20 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_edge_of_seventeen_20132>.