The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning Page #3

Definitely no farmer.

Yeah.

The Boar's Nest is kicking! It's

an election year. Put that on, dumpling.

- Here you go, darling.

- Oh, thank you.

I'm going in.

Bo, don't... Bo!

Boys.

Hi, fellas.

- What is this place?

- I don't know.

But four slices of a sex pie

just walked right through that door.

I think they need a little scoop of Bo

on top.

Whoa! Where do you think

you boys are going?

We're with them.

Okay. Thank you.

Nice sleeves.

No place for minors

is definitely a place for us.

- There's got to be another way in.

- Let's go.

- Whoa, ladies.

- Yeah.

- Well, what have we got here?

- Let me know.

- Okay.

- Bye.

Hello, folks, how you doing?

How are you doing?

- How y'all doing?

- You called my mother a what?

Not gonna take that.

- Look at that.

- There you go. Great shot.

J.D. Hogg is in the house.

Hey, now,

they're fighting over you, there, Joanne.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey. You wanna piece of him,

you better take a piece of me.

It's locked.

- I'm going this way.

- Wait up.

Boss Hogg's prize boar Dainty.

Three time state champ

and a close second in J.D.'s heart,

after his wife Lulu.

It's Hogg's hog.

Stay. Sit.

- So, how's Lulu?

- Expensive.

My wife's got a jewelry habit that'd

make a crack whore look sensible.

Lucky you're the richest guy

in Hazzard, huh?

Yeah. It's good enough

for a county commissioner.

But what about the future?

Governor Hogg.

President Hogg. Prime Minister Hogg.

- Well, I ain't much into politics.

- These things cost big bucks.

Seems my temporary blindness

to your illegal activities

- should be worth more like 10%.

- Oh, it is.

- Undying friendship.

- Which is nice.

But I'm thinking more like 25%.

Well, I ain't making a lot of money

out there selling shine.

I'm paying a few bills,

but I ain't getting rich.

Which brings me to my next proposal.

It's high time we expand

your little operation, sell abroad.

I ain't selling no broads.

- That's good.

- Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'm talking

about neighboring counties.

I can't afford to go to jail.

I've got three young'uns that I'm raising.

You're thinking small, Jesse.

We could be partners.

Rich as rich, chocolatey Ovaltine.

I really don't think it's right that

I cut you in after you've been elected.

- It's kind of like bribery, don't you think?

- It is bribery, Jesse.

What the hell you think

we've been doing out there,

selling cotton candy to nuns?

One way or the other,

I'm gonna get my money.

You got two weeks, then I'm sending

Rosco out to foreclose on the farm.

No more slipping on payments.

- Hey, where did she go?

- Who?

Who?

Come on, we'll save you, Dainty.

Hang on, girl.

Come on.

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