The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Her Page #5

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It's yours.

Oh.

Do you like hamburgers?

I used to be a vegan.

Mostly 'cause

my husband was a vegan.

Not that I don't agree

with most of the tenets

of vegan ideology, but...

he was one

of those reformed socialists

who seemed sexy

before the '60s started to fade.

Does he teach?

He won tenure

at University of Oregon,

and I got it here.

He went soft, I stayed hard,

that was that.

You have kids?

A son.

I'm not sure

why people have kids.

You know, first there's

the nine months of agony,

your body hurts,

it's hot, it's cold,

you crave pickles,

and there's no words to describe

whatever the f*** labor is.

And then this

little stranger comes out,

sucking every bit of life

you have left in you,

and as soon as you're ready

to jump out of a window,

all of a sudden, he smiles.

Jesus Christ, this is good.

And whatever you do,

however you do it,

however you imagine

your child's life,

or what kind of parent you'd be,

29 years later,

he's in some shrink's office

accusing you of some stupid

thing that you said or did

that for the life of you, you

can't remember saying or doing.

Tell me at your age you're not taking

classes out of boredom.

I don't know what

the hell I'm doing.

What was before this?

Mm, life in general.

Any kids?

Mm-hmm.

Boy or girl?

Boy.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Who's that man who chased you

out of my classroom the other day?

He went soft, I stayed hard,

that was that.

Hey.

Guess what?

What?

I got asked out on a date.

Flaughsl

I look stupid.

You look beautiful.

Oh, don't be nice.

This... oh, f***, I don't understand

why this a**hole walked into my library.

- Katy...

Don't "Katy" me.

Oh, my God,

Mom and Dad

aren't even back yet.

Maybe I should just...

pull the plug.

No. He'll be here any second.

Calm down.

I'll watch him.

We're just going to pretend

to be interested in each other

over cheap cabernet,

and he's gonna, like, ask me

all the same stupid questions

that they ask about Philip,

like who the dad is, and then

look at me like I'm half a moron

for the choices that I've made.

You know, it was easier

when I was an actress,

because I could

just f*** my costars,

but this real-life

pseudo-adult crap sucks my ass.

Katy, shut up.

I feel fat.

You're not fat.

You were always...

who you were gonna be,

I mean, like a woman.

I always... wasn't yet.

Then I was a fraud.

Sometimes I hardly

recognize you with that hair.

Mm.

That's gorgeous.

Goddamn it!

Uh, excuse me?

Hey, come in here.

What was that?

This keeps breaking off.

OK, but we don't say that, lovey.

Why?

'Cause it's not

a nice thing to say.

Are you sure that you're

OK to watch him?

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