The Detective Page #3

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Thank you.

Well...

- I take it you didn't like the play.

- I didn't like the play.

- I never saw anything so meaningful.

- He's a phony.

- Do you know anything about plays?

- A little bit, yes.

- Well, who are your favorite playwrights?

- How about O'Casey and Shaw?

Well, what do you know about O'Casey?

Mr. O'Casey writes about the joys of life,

not the futility of it all.

What do you do, Mr. Leland?

He's with the cops.

- You're kidding.

- Heh. That's what I said.

Well, I always said a little learning

in a policeman is a dangerous thing.

Hey.

Where are you going?

I'm going home because you and your friends

give me a pain in the ass.

[LAUGHING]

Wow.

- Hello.

- Hi.

What's your problem?

Heart trouble.

Would you like to explain that?

Well, there's this man I know.

Are you in love with him?

I don't know.

But he's the only real man I've ever met.

Ah.

I bet you tell that to all the cops.

KAREN:

Hmm.

How many girls have you brought up here?

Couple of thousand.

No, I mean, seriously.

How many have you had

right here on this couch?

Did you notice

that we haven't had a fight all evening?

Yep. I noticed.

That's probably because for a minute

you forgot that I was a fascist cop.

Why do you wanna be a cop?

Because my old man was a cop.

His old man was a cop.

Everybody in my family was a cop.

That's why.

Why do you wanna be a cop?

Because it's the most useful and constructive

thing I can do. Don't you understand?

I understand. Don't bite my head off.

What about you?

- I mean, I don't know anything about you.

- What do you wanna know?

Well, first it's your family.

What about them?

There isn't any.

What do you mean, there isn't any?

Well, I was the proverbial baby

left on the doorstep.

Don't look so sad. It isn't that tragic.

Well, were you adopted?

If you're not taken by the time you're 3,

they don't pick you up too easily.

But I lived in a few

foster homes, you know.

Best thing about it was

I had a room of my own.

The state requires

you have a room of your own.

I said, don't look so sad.

It isn't such a bad life.

No scars?

No, I just go to my psychiatrist

twice a week now.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh.

You don't approve of that.

Not particularly. I happen to feel people

should try to work out their own problems.

Well, that's manly of you.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Ever been married?

- Engaged?

- No.

Many guys?

Yes.

And on my terms.

Not theirs.

Yeah.

I've been to the post a few times myself.

I was beginning to think that nobody else

in the world would ever interest me again.

Let's not talk about those things, Joe.

Let's just enjoy each other.

I don't want to be this way with you.

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