The Crook Page #2

---

What name shall I put down

for you this time?

Edouard Faures. Spelled with an "S."

NAME:
FAURE

- Always the name of a big wheel.

- Impresses the cops.

With an "S," I said.

I don't want to be hauled in

for impersonation.

- You feel like playing poker tonight?

- No, I better not.

I guess you're right.

How many driver's licenses

do you want me to make?

Two. One with a mustache and one without.

I threw in a vaccination certificate.

You're vaccinated for everything:

Smallpox, cholera, the works.

Thanks, doc.

Will you let me borrow your car?

Yes, of course.

In a day or two,

it will turn up at one of the borders.

Take care of yourself, Simon.

Your escape was great.

Thanks.

We'll have our coffee now.

Do you know what this is?

It's a yogurt.

- The world's very first yogurt in a can.

- I saw Simon.

I'll look in on Franoise. Excuse me.

The papers said

he must have left the country.

It's amazing how wrong they can be.

I saw him this afternoon at the park.

Was Franoise with you?

I set up a lawyer's practice

after I got my degree.

It's true.

My first client seemed like a nice person...

someone who dropped out of the blue

because he thought I was brilliant.

"I'm known as the Al Capone of France,"

he said.

"I'm a gangster,

and I'm called the Al Capone of France.

"Now, since you're a young lawyer,

I have a proposal for you.

"To hire you by the year.

"You'll be paid quite a lot,

just as long as I'm free.

"As soon as I go to prison,

you won't be paid."

- It's true. What, you don't believe me?

- It's unbelievable.

Then he said to me, "You'll be my adviser...

"and each time I decide to set up a deal,

you can give me legal advice beforehand."

Well, the first job that came up

was so beautiful.

I couldn't help saying,

"Sir, if you don't mind, I'll work with you."

- Good evening.

- Police.

I'd like to speak to Mrs. Zimmer.

Just a second. I'll see if she's in.

There are two gentlemen from the police.

Would you like a little more couscous?

It's good. Don't you like it?

You don't sound like it.

The last time I had it I was in Kiruna,

in a place that catered to Eskimos.

Now you're making fun of me.

In the papers they call you "the Swiss."

That or "Simon the Swiss."

Clockwork precision.

Also because...

I've got a reputation for working alone.

Do you want the television on?

I'm leaving tonight.

Thank you.

I'll get it.

Are you alone?

My wife's here.

Suppose you call her.

Come on, call her.

- Baby doll.

- Yes?

- Yes, what is it?

- Come here.

- Is there anyone else?

- The maid.

Where is she?

- Where?

- In the kitchen.

- Do you have a dog?

- Yes.

Call him.

- Othello.

- No, louder.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes