The Competition Page #5

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relationships six months or longer,

and to prove my theory correct,

alls I have to do is...

tempt them.

Oh, my God, there's a list.

What do you know

about these people?

Everything I need to know.

Simon Walker, OK,

so, he's a preppy bartender.

The bartender at Toochies?

- Right, exactly.

Apparently, he's one

of Cal's best friends

and he's been engaged

for two years.

Now, Cal says, "Oh, he

wouldn't possibly cheat."

That's a very long engagement.

- Right?

- Who's that?

Edward Hockett.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're high school

sweethearts.

Now we went to

a yoga class together,

and actually,

oh, you know, I hate to do it

to her really,

but, uh, hey, if Cal's right

and my theory is totally wrong,

then, hey, I haven't done

anything, right?

Right. But you're not going

to actually arrange

for these people

to have sex, are you?

No. OK, so,

Cal and I

argued about this, right?

And he came up

with a good point.

He said, "Well, somebody

could always back out,

or change their mind,

how are you gonna know?"

And I said, "Listen,

if the underwear have come out,

it's a done deal,"

so we decided on that.

Underwear is proof.

You're going to steal

these people's underwear?

Me? No, no, no.

I'm not gonna do that.

Corina's gonna do it.

Who's Corina?

She's a devout

follower of the blog.

She's got some very interesting

things to say about men.

We have gotten close

over the last couple of years.

She... dances.

Exotically.

- [GenShe's a stripper.

- Hey, don't be so judgey.

She's a person.

Like you or me.

Thank you.

Thank you...

Anyway, I said she could

post a victory blog

when we win.

Mm. When you win?

Mm-hmm.

Look, I'm a little bit

of an expert

in human nature, OK?

I can't lose.

OK, but what if you do?

Well, if I do,

I have to admit defeat.

I have to shut

down the blog,

which means I lose

my followers.

Then I have to postpone

the book,

because without a blog

there is no book.

That's a lot of think about.

You must really like him

if you're willing to

risk so much.

I don't know,

I'm going to win.

Also think about

it this way.

If I get the city's

top female advocate attorney

writing on my blog about the

competition and what it proves?

That book, that book

is worth the mint.

Wait, Sharon Gottlieb

she works in our office.

She is happily married,

just had a baby.

Corina is definitely

not her type.

Yeah, no, I know. He threw that in

there. But, you know what? It's fine.

The pig theory applies

to men and women alike.

We all can be pigs.

That's the whole point.

I mean, you and Mom

were a huge inspiration.

Gee, thanks.

So, how are you going

to tempt Sharon?

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