The Closet Page #2
You're right. If you camp it up,
you'll be a flop.
You bet!
It's hard,
especially playing a flamer.
Most actors who try
are way off and vulgar.
So it won't work.
No. You'll pull it off
if you do nothing at all.
Just stay the shy, discreet
person they've known for years.
What'll change
is how they perceive you.
Suzanne!
That's Pignon!
Holy sh*t!
Francoise? Pignon, in accounting,
you'll never guess...
Wait, I'll send you a copy.
Robert? You sitting down?
Don't hang up.
Morning Martine, Suzanne.
Morning, sir.
How's the mail today?
Well?
I want to know
who sent them, and why!
If only there was
an anonymous letter:
"Don't fire Pignon!
We'll tell the media
"you hate gays."
But just these photos...
We're not firing him
cause he's gay!
But people will say that's why!
I've got nothing against gays!
Damn that f*ggot!
What do we do?
Madame...
Gentlemen. Good morning!
Before we get down to business,
I want you to see these.
They're your sons.
Good looking boys!
No, the bareassed guy
is an accountant here.
Pass them around.
It's Pignon!
- Who took them?
- I don't know, but it's hateful.
How surprising!
Not to me.
I tried him out at rugby.
You can spot them at once!
Broke his collarbone!
Had to give up pantyhose!
This is no joke. We have to solve
the Pignon problem.
We did. He's being fired!
What do we make here, Santini?
Sorry?
- What kind of products?
- Products made of rubber.
What is our star item?
Con... Cond...?
...doms.
If we fire him, we'll have
every gay movement on our backs.
Better to have them
on your back than up...
What do you do Saturday nights?
I asked how you spend
Saturday nights. Gay bashing?
Not at all!
Where do you go?
The park, to hunt drag-queens?
That humor is out now.
I won't say it twice!
We decided this:
we keep Pignon for now,
and stay out of his private life!
We must!
- He's so dumb.
- Outdid himself!
- Let's make him...
- Less dumb? No hope!
We can try!
He let you have it!
I lightened the mood,
and he slammed me!
- Why?
You're on your way out.
He's got his eye on you.
You can't fire a guy
for a mild joke!
Would they fire me for that?
If I were you,
I'd be very nice to Pignon.
What do you mean
very nice?
You're known
as a macho gay-basher.
To change that,
take Pignon to lunch.
I won't lunch with that fruit!
I hope no one heard you.
"l can't,
I'm lunching with Pignon!"
Very good.
What a world! They fire straights,
and keep on every stinking...
- Who copied it?
- Dunno. We're all giggling.
Put it away, he's due.
- Aren't they cute?
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"The Closet" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_closet_15945>.
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