The Clapper

Synopsis: 15 minutes of fame destroys the life of a man who works as a clapper in television.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Dito Montiel
Production: Momentum Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
21
Rotten Tomatoes:
30%
R
Year:
2017
89 min
17 Views

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

EDDIE:
[OVER ANSWERING MACHINE]

This is Eddie Krumble.

Leave a message at the beep.

[BEEP]

IDA:
Eddie, it's your mother.

I'm leaving this message

on your machine.

We saw you on the television

here on your real estate show.

You looked very handsome.

Call your mother.

So you're trying to tell me,

with no money down,

- I can get a house?

- [PHONE RINGS]

[OVER ANSWERING MACHINE]

This is Eddie Krumble.

- Leave a message at the beep.

- I can get a house.

IDA:
Eddie,

it's the machine again.

House.

You're trying to tell me,

with no money down,

- I can get a house?

- IDA:
We're freezing here.

You're trying to tell me,

with no money down,

- I can get a house?

- IDA:
We live in an icebox.

I can get a house?

- A house? House?

- [PHONE RINGS]

IDA:
Eddie, tell 'em...

["OUTDOORS" BY RED PLANE PLAYS]

Now and again,

I'm getting sore

We saw them getting more

Now and again, I get bored

We saw them shake the shore

We saw them shake the shore

[HORN HONKS]

Let's go outdoors

It's a hearty haze

With strange decor

[HORN HONKS]

Let's go outdoors

It's a funny phase

To making more

It's a funny phase

To making more

[RIVETING]

Now and again, I keep score

We saw them taking more

Now and again, I get bored

We saw them shake the shore

We saw them shake the shore

Let's go outdoors

Let's go outdoors

It's a hearty haze

With strange decor

It's a hearty haze

With strange decor

[DING]

Let's go outdoors

MAN:
[OVER INTERCOM] Next stop,

Hollywood and Highland.

Enjoy your day.

[BRAKES HISS]

HARRY:
Hollywood bus tour!

$13 all day. Hop in, hop off.

Hollywood bus tour.

Hey, Hollywood bus tour.

Hollywood bus tour!

Hollywood bus tour!

Hollywood bus tour.

Hop on, hop off, $13 all.

- Hey!

- Harry!

Hey, Chris, Eddie.

Another day in hell, huh?

Living the dream,

living the dream.

Hey, you doing

your shows today?

Yeah, I got two questions.

Extra hundred bucks.

Outta sight! Hey, you gotta

hook me up with that.

I'll try, you know?

Making a living, right?

Making a living, yeah.

Hollywood bus tour!

Hop on, hop off.

$13 all day.

Hollywood bus tour.

Hollywood bus tour, sir?

Hop on, hop off, all day.

See Hollywood.

- You good?

- I'm good.

Filled up? All right.

CROWD:
No money down!

No money down!

No money down!

No money down!

Yes, yes!

That's absolutely right!

And remember,

what you're talking about here

is almost an acre of property

for pennies on the dollar!

Pennies on the dollar!

Pennies on the dollar!

And at Tranquil Estates,

we have seven lakes

just teeming with catfish,

thirteen playgrounds

and three golf courses.

Yes, go tweet about that

right now, sir.

[LAUGHING]

Uh-huh, yes, sir.

So you mean to tell me,

with no money down,

I can buy a house?

You're a fine listener, sir.

Exactly!

Yes, my friends, we want you

to enjoy the neighbors,

the Clooneys,

the Kardashians,

and that's if we still

have a lot for them.

[LAUGHING]

TV ANNOUNCER:
One resident

was candidly quoted as saying,

the earth simply opened up,

and down the drain they went.

Oh!

Yeah, right?

One day you're doing stuff,

the next day...

You put yourself out there,

something's bound to happen

sooner or later.

Keep it simple.

That's what I'm saying.

Pay me to clap,

maybe I get a question,

make a few extra bucks,

I'm good.

Oh, my God, no way.

Alan Thicke, Alan Thicke!

That's crazy.

Me and Chris, we were

just talking about you.

We were in the audience.

I asked the question.

No money down,

not one penny.

Hey, you remembered that.

Good. Oh, great.

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Dito Montiel

Orlandito Montiel (born July 26, 1965), better known as Dito Montiel, is an American author, screenwriter, film director and musician. more…

All Dito Montiel scripts | Dito Montiel Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"The Clapper" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 12 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_clapper_19934>.

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