The Bronx Bull Page #6

---

Honey, this is my boss, Lenny.

Hey, how you doing?

Let me ask you a question, pal.

Are you tapping my wife?

Excuse me?

Jake, come on, you're making a scene.

JAKE:
Shut up!

I asked you a simple question.

Are you putting it to my wife

or planning to put it to her?

Jake, come on.

No. Listen, w-we're

just having lunch here.

We're going over

the fall line, that's all.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna

take you outside

and I'm gonna show you the fall...

LENNY:

Whoa, I got a gun!

JAKE:

You, get the f*** up.

I ever see you again,

I'm gonna throw you the beating

of your f***ing life.

You know something?

You're crazy.

What the f*** is wrong with you?

What the f***

is wrong with you? Come on!

Let's get the f*** outta here!

I mean, how can that be the best

thing for her, you know,

taking her away from her father?

I made my decision, Jake.

We're leaving town.

Honey, all of us, we could be

a family again, honey.

We have to do this.

I want you to understand, okay?

JAKE:

Hey, sweetheart.

Give your daddy a little hug, will you?

Oh...

Everything's gonna be all right.

See, you don't know this, but

I grew up with Rocky Graziano.

And I gotta admit, we were

hoodlums, right? Thieves.

But we were very sophisticated thieves.

We only stole things

that began with an A.

Like "a bike," "a car," "a gun"...

[LAUGHTER]

So anyway, my second wife, Vikki,

she comes home one night

and I say, "Vikki,

your stockings are wrinkled."

Well, how the hell

was I supposed to know

she wasn't wearing any?

[LAUGHTER]

So she says to me one day,

"Jake, I got no clothes."

Of course, I didn't believe her.

Till I come home one night

and I see her running

around the bedroom naked.

I say, "I know, I know,

you got no clothes."

So I open up the closet door and I said,

"Black dress, pink dress...

Hello, Rocky."

[LAUGHTER]

Get off the stage, you bum!

Wait. We're not at your

f***ing time in life. Okay?

So sit the f*** up and drink

your f***ing champagne

before I come over there

and stick it down your throat.

[CROWD EXCLAIMING]

Hey. What the hell you think

you're doing up there,

chasing people out of the joint?

My relationship with the owner

only goes so far.

Get the f*** outta here.

The guy had a big mouth.

Besides, everybody laughed.

You heard them.

The only one up there laughing was you.

That's your opinion, Rick, all right?

They like me.

Wh-wh-what? Hey,

what the f*** are you doing?

You know you got a second show

tonight, you stupid f***.

Yeah, well, this stupid f***

has got a date with destiny

over there, huh?

[LAUGHING]

How are you ladies doing tonight?

Good. How are you?

Good. You enjoying

your foo-foo drinks?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes